Mystic Mooma Makes Things

Natty

2011-11-09T12:40:00.000-06:00

I vowed not to ever have another dog after the untimely and grisly passing of Duke. Anah, my granddaughter, never let an opportunity pass when she thought she could change my mind. At last, I told her that if the Universe sent us a dog then I would adopt it.

Thus, near the end of June I was outside when I heard a sound coming from under the deck. Huddled there was a tiny brown bundle of fur, whimpering softly and scared half to death. She was so cute (aren't they all?) and so needy. And, after all what do you do when the Universe sends you a puppy? I couldn't help but love her and Anah was and remains beside herself ecstatic that she has a dog now. Naming honors went to Anah who chose "Natty". I thought, how cool. She named her after Bob Marley's song, "Natty Dread.".. Oops not so. Her cousin, Lainey also has a new dog and her name is "Maddy." She wanted a sound alike name.

Life with a puppy is challenging and quite a change. I feel a bit sorry for my cats at times. Their lives have definitely changed but I figure they have a cat tree if they really don't want to play.

Looks like Natty is going to be a big dog. She weighs 46 lbs at abt age six months. She is brindled and Anah says she is a "Tasmanian Wolf" which seems to be some sort of prehistoric critter she read about. She has those deep brown eyes that seem to look right into you and see all your secrets. She's not always very biddable but we work constantly on teaching her to behave well. Its kind of like having a baby again. Its work, its fun.. and after all every farm really should have a dog. Thanks Universe!

Zucchini Brownies

2011-07-27T13:11:00.000-05:00

One of the women in my knitting circle gave me this recipe yesterday and I was quite pleased with the results. Although it is looking like I may not have any more zucchini this season (hot weather & squash bugs are taking a toll) I will certainly make this recipe next summer.

Zucchini Brownies

2 Cups flour
1/3 C. baking cocoa
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 cups shredded zucchini
1 1/2 cups sugar
3/4 cup oil
1/2 c. pecans (chopped)
2 tsp vanilla

Mix flour, cocoa, salt, and soda in a mixing bowl. In a separate bowl, combine zucchini, sugar and oil. Stir in vanilla. Add dry ingredients and mix until combined. Pour into a greased 9 x 13 pan and bake at 350 dgrees for 35-40 minutes. Enjoy!

Keeping You in Stitches - Volume 7

2011-03-28T10:37:00.000-05:00

Frogging and Tinking…Basic Knitting Terms, You Don’t Want To Use

At a recent meeting of “Tuesday Morning Hooks, Yarns, and Thinkers,” an unusual hush fell upon our usually chatty group. Some were contentedly working on their projects in silence, but most were quietly counting, the numbers flowing softly out into the air creating a buzzy undertone. You might wonder why so many of us were counting that day. Keeping count of your stitches is necessary as pattern stitches must be verified and the amount of stitches in a row has to be accurately maintained. If you come up short or long, correction can be irritating. No one wants to rip out their work and so we count.

If you are knitting along and much to your dismay see that six rows down you have a horrible ugly error then it is time to rip it out. And then you just rip it, rip it, rip it ... gently pulling the thread from the stitches. This action is the basis for the knitting term of “frogging.” We knitters envy the crocheters the ease with which they can rip their work, just a tug and the stitches come out easily. Not so with knitting.

Knitters are free to frog their work too if they dare to strip all the stitches off the needles and then do what it takes to get them back on. We have some dedicated “froggers” in our group. Virginia once completely frogged a single sock so many times that the yarn started getting fragile. When we caught her at it, we exclaimed a collective “STOP!” And proceeded to show her how to go back to her error, correct it and then go from that point on again. At last her sock is getting longer. (Now if we can just convince Marie of the same thing.)

Frogging is certainly not fun, but if your error is several rows down, if you just don’t like the pattern or think it is not going to fit, then frog you must. If, however, you discover an error in the row you are currently knitting, the recommended method for repair is called tinking. A knitter who has an error in an intricate pattern will cautiously remove stitches one a time, backing them off to the left hand needle. Essentially this is un-knitting or knitting backwards, therefore we have the term “tinking” which is knit spelled backwards and indicates unknitting your stitches.

As much as we would like it to be different, errors are by no means uncommon. We sometimes talk too much, our project falls on the floor and off the needles; the cat decides our project is a toy, or that TV program is just way too interesting and we lose our place. Certainly there are any number of ways in which you can lose count or lose your needles; believe it or not, some patterns actually contain errors that take a while to sort out. Everyone makes mistakes and they are really not that difficult to correct. As with the whole of knitting, or of life Patience is certainly a virtue.

So, don’t “tink” you need to frog your whole project. Bring it to the library on Tuesday morning and we will do our best to demonstrate the easiest way to get you back in the swim of things. Hooks, Yarns, and Thinkers meets every Tuesday at the Little Dixie Regional Library at 9:30 a.m. We tink you’ll like it so join us!

Keeping You in Stitches - Volume 6

2011-03-13T11:34:00.000-05:00

When Size Matters…

If your knitting project is something flat, long, or square as are dish cloths, scarves, and afghans, or even a triangular shawl, you can choose your pattern, buy the yarn and needles called for in that pattern and get underway. Nothing has to “fit.”

Perhaps you have seen the cartoons showing the sweater a granny lovingly knits for that little boy and it looks as if it is shrink-wrapped to his body. Or the college co-ed who made the sweater for her guy and the wrists of the sleeves hang below his knees. These knitters set themselves up for disappointment in two ways. They failed to measure the person for whom the garment was intended and they skipped checking their gauge.

Pay attention to the gauge shown on your pattern. We know. You found this great pattern and bought the yarn and needles suggested and you are eager to get started. STOP! Take time to knit a small swatch (piece). This step may be boring, but is necessary. You will get an indication of how your personal knitting tension compares to what is given in your pattern.

How do you create this gauge swatch? Cast on about 20 stitches and knit one row, purl one row (aka stockinette stitch) for a couple of inches, enough to get you rolling in your usual style. Put the swatch out on a flat surface, lay a ruler on it and place straight pins in the vertical rows of stitches at the inch marks. Then count the stitches across the inch. Don’t fudge, no matter how bad you want it to work out in your favor. If the pattern calls for 7 stitches to the inch and you have 6 ½, don’t say, “Close enough.” Across 40 stitches this small discrepancy will make quite a difference. Not enough stitches to the inch? Try a smaller needle. If, on the other hand, you had 8 stitches, then try a larger needle. Re-knit your swatch and count again.

So, when size matters, check your gauge. It is the ‘fitting’ thing to do.

“Tuesday Morning Hooks, Yarns, and Thinkers” 9:30 – 11:00 a.m. at the Moberly Public Library. You all come. No charges.

Keeping You in Stitches - Volume 5

2011-03-02T07:42:00.001-06:00

In an effort to give these articles a "home" on the web.. here's another one of my knitting related newspaper articles. Well not totally mine, I co write them with a dear friend, Sandy.

Going Like Crazy

One long, gray Iowa winter when I was 10, my mom taught me to knit and I made a few simple items. I let my skills lapse and did not pick up the needles again until I wanted to knit sweaters for my own children. I picked up a book, “Learn to Knit” so that I could refresh my memory. Right away I saw diagrams illustrating the way I had been taught. It is called the American or English way. My aunts had told me that my Danish grandmother knit differently from my mother. They called it: “the German way.” but, I had never seen it.

Fast forward 40 yrs when Mary joined our Tuesday group at the library. I noticed she could knit so fast that the stitches seemed to jump onto her needle. She was going like crazy. I was really interested now. As I watched, suddenly the light bulb went on. This was German knitting or as it also called Continental or European style. In American knitting you hold the yarn in your right hand and then throw the yarn around your second needle. European knitters feed the yarn from their left hand and pick their stitches, much like in crochet. A bit later Sonya showed up, another European style knitter, and she was going like crazy. And then Inga came and she was going like crazy and well…

Elaine and I became intrigued by the idea of all this speed. Just think how many more things you could knit if you could go that fast. It staggers the imagination! The European knitters were happy to show us how and so we tried to go like crazy. Elaine knitted a cowl using European style, but never achieved the quickness of Mary and Sonya. I found it difficult to change my style after over 50 years of doing it the American way. So, it’s not likely that either of us will switch over. But, we sure do long for the increased productivity of going like crazy.

I now realize an apology is due a former knitting student, a Higbee lady. She was an avid crocheter and was accustomed to using her left hand to hold the yarn. I was trying to teach her to hold it in her right hand and we were both frustrated. If I had only understood the difference between English and European knitting styles she’d be sitting there in Higbee right now using a style that was comfortable to her and going like crazy.

Fingerless Gloves

2011-02-19T17:59:00.000-06:00

Been on a kick of knitting fingerless gloves lately. Just finished the "Beer Gloves" for the hubs and another pair for myself. I usually don't like doing cable work, but the beer gloves just might have given me a new feeling for cables. I do like the way they turned out. While not traditional cable work, the "Tree of Life" mitts that I made for myself are nonetheless cable and I enjoy wearing them.

Keeping You in Stitches -Volume 4

2011-01-21T13:58:00.000-06:00

I continue to co author a knitting/crochet column for the local papers. I had originally intended to post them all here, but have fallen seriously behind in that intent.

Perhaps this go round I'll get more of them in this journal.

KEEPING YOU IN STITCHES

By Sandy and Elaine

"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up." Mark Twain

So, you have leftover yarn? Has your “stash” taken over the laundry baskets? Have you made a hat, sweater, scarf or pair of mittens for everyone in your family and the neighbors? I think anyone who has ever worked with yarn has leftovers somewhere in their house, no matter how deeply hidden.

What do you do when this happens to you? Tuesday Morning Hooks Yarns and Thinkers decided to use their extra yarn to become a part of the Knit-A-Square Community. Knit-a-Square is a charity organization based in Australia. They provide blankets to AIDS orphans in South Africa. The blankets are made from squares knitted and crocheted by folks all over the world.

Founder Sandy McDonald was born in Africa and lives now in Australia. An aunt, who still lives in Africa, paid Sandy a visit. Aunt Roda’s stories of the tiny orphans living in terrible conditions moved Sandy to try to keep them warm and Knit-a-Square was born in 2008.

There are an estimated 1.4 million orphans in South Africa alone. Every day over 500 children lose one or both parents to HIV/AIDS. Some of the children are ill and warmth can be vital to their survival. Blankets do more than keep the children warm. They are also a way to raise awareness of the African AIDS epidemic and its impact on children across the world.

Both knitted and crocheted squares are acceptable. Wool is preferred, but acrylic can be used. Each square is 8 x 8 inches. Twenty four squares make a baby blanket. The squares are assembled in South Africa by volunteers.

Knit-a-Square’s goal for 2010 is 400, 000 squares. Our squares will make up a part of that total. We would love to have squares from you too. Instructions and information are available online at www.knit-a-square.com or come to the next meeting of Hooks Yarns and Thinkers, Tuesday October 4 at 9:30 a.m. upstairs at the Little Dixie Regional Library. We’ve got instructions and instructors and loads of good energy to share.

My Daughter

2011-01-12T08:29:00.002-06:00

Monday evening as I was sitting and knitting the phone rang and it was my daughter, Tracy. She was all choked up and managed to say I'm ok, but I've had an accident. She was driving home late. The roads were bad, the middle a snow storm really. And, she had swerved to miss a car that was broadside in the road and been hit in the rear by a semi. YES she is OK!

I talked to her until the HP arrived and then they took her in an ambulance to be checked out. I was not terribly fearful at this point as she was talking quite logically, not bleeding and seemed to be all right. X-rays confirmed that nothing horrible was wrong.

She had to spend the night in town since her husband could not get there in the storm. They live a ways out and he had no one to watch their daughter. I was stuck here 45 minutes away and could not help. But, her boss and a co worker were there to take good care of her.

Gosh am I ever appreciative of her safety. She spends a lot of time on the road and this is her first accident ever. We are so blessed!

Feeling Good!

2011-01-07T14:56:00.003-06:00

I am excited that 2011 is off to such a rocking good beginning. I read somewhere that the year will unfold much as the first week has and if that holds true then I am definitely in for the best year of my life so far.

Christmas was good, all of the family were in attendance in spite of a nearly 5 inch snow fall the night before. The snow was incredibly beautiful, the wet soft kind that hangs on all the trees. The grandchildren were happy to go outside and play for a good part of the afternoon.

I continue to enjoy knitting and writing for the local newspaper.

I finished my polar bear hat and another pair of socks and am currently working on a pair of mittens for my Anah. They are yet another stranded color work pattern, this one with cats. Anah does love cats!

I

Tempus Fugit

2010-12-13T10:22:00.003-06:00

Having been very lax in my blog posts I will attempt a sort of catch up thing here today.

October ended with a great Halloween party for the grandchildren and their friends. I really got into this year and decorated a lot more and dressed up. Everyone had a good time.

November started off quite sadly when our newly adopted dog was run down and killed by a car. Good bye Duke, you were a good dog.

Thanksgiving happened. I was sick and very grateful to my girls for helping out with the dinner.

And now its almost time for Christmas. The tree is up the gifts are purchased and we await the day.

I shall not promise to keep up with blogging, but perhaps in the dark cold days to come I will find more time to do so. I hope all who read this are happy healthy and ready for the holiday season.

Much LOVE.

Happy Birthday to ME!

2010-11-23T07:54:00.000-06:00

Keeping You in Stitches

2010-11-16T07:37:00.001-06:00

I continue to co-author editorials for the local newspapers and from time to time I post one of them.. We are quite limited in number of words that we can use so nothing goes into great depth, but this does give a brief overview of crochet. As many of our members are not knitters we try to give the crocheters some attention as well.

The history of crochet…

Crochet is a method of working interlocking loops of thread into a chain by means of a slender rod hooked at one end. The work is begun by crocheting a single chain of loops, each new loop being formed by catching the yarn and drawing it through the previous loop. The chain is made to the planned width of the finished piece, the yarn is turned at the end of the chain, and a second chain is crocheted, each new stitch being looped through a stitch in the previous row.

There is no solid evidence to pinpoint the exact date of when crochet began. Theories abound as to when and where it came about, but solid documentation does not show up until the mid 19^th century in Europe. In 1824 the first crochet pattern was published and by the middle of the century patterns were easily obtainable.

As the cost of manufactured thread dropped crochet began to develop as a cottage industry. During the Irish Potato Famine nuns taught children to crochet and the lace they made was shipped all over Europe. Most notably in Ireland and Northern France whole families would stay at home and produce crocheted items for sale. The emerging middle class created a ready market for these items.

Because it was sold to the middle class, crocheted lace had to overcome the stigma of being labeled as common or cheap. Those who could afford it still bought lace made by older more expensive methods. Queen Victoria was instrumental in changing this attitude. Victoria conspicuously purchased Irish made lace and actually learned how to crochet herself.

Crochet continued to grow in popularity until World War II. At that time not only was thread scarce and expensive, women had left the home to fill jobs left empty by men and there was no time for the leisure arts.

Then, in the 60’s a 70’s a new generation picked up the craft of crochet and granny squares were born. The new relaxed styles of clothing made crocheted vests, sweaters and accessories extremely popular. Both men and women were learning to make everything from afghans to belts and scarves. New, vibrant colors of yarn were now available and magazines on how to crochet were prolific. With this new era, crochet was more than just a way to make practical items; it gave people the opportunity to express themselves with new colors, patterns and designs.

At that time, interest in psychology was just beginning to peak and it was found that crocheting, like many hobbies, helped relieve stress. Not only could people created a crocheted afghan for every room of their house, they could relax while doing it.

Crochet continues to evolve and the latest magazines show incredibly intricate designs in clothing. Yet another generation is picking up this skill and finding satisfaction and relaxation in needlework.

You see, we are not all about knitting. Many of us crochet as well as knit and we welcome crocheters to our weekly meetings of “Hooks, Yarns, & Thinkers” – 9:30 at the Moberly Public Library. Join us, you’ll be hooked too!

I'm SO Done With It!

2010-10-22T15:10:00.003-05:00

Finished the sweater that I started in April. This is the first sweater that I have knitted and I am inordinately proud of it! I purchased the pattern from the twistcollective.com. It is called "Gytha." For the project I used Wool of the Andes from knitpicks.com. This is a 100% Peruvian Highland wool and I am very pleased with the yarn. It was knit on a size 7 circular needle with some DPN action thrown in now and again. Bands of stranded color work aka Fair Isle Knitting decorate the bottom of the sweater. The colors in the color work are repeated in stripes on the sleeves and hood. I love the belled sleeves and the bit of ribbing at the elbow too. I still need to find just the right toggle button to complete the neckline of the sweater, but it is certainly wearable as is.

It feels really good to complete this project. I was a bit daunted by it in the beginning and so totally satisfied with the result that I am now eager to choose another sweater pattern. In the meantime I am knitting a pair of socks and a have a couple of hats on the needles too.

This post would be incomplete without some pictures. Hubs and I went outside on the one of the most lovely fall days that you can imagine and he snapped a bunch of shots. That was fun! This is an uplifting conclusion to a week that has been fraught with off the charts anxiety and one HUGE Panic Attack. I am grateful to be on the upswing once again.

Another Keeping You in Stitches

2010-10-20T07:40:00.002-05:00

KEEPING YOU IN STITCHES

By Sandy and Elaine

In the past, friends, neighbors and relatives often came together to help each other. Women gathered for quilting bees and men for barn raisings. In this country today, however, social isolation is at an all time high. Television, the internet and a fast paced lifestyle have all contributed to the creation of a society in which many sit at home alone in front of a flickering screen.

Tuesday Morning Hooks, Yarns and Thinkers is part of a movement back to a simpler time when folks met, worked and interacted with each other face to face. We are much more than an arts, crafts or needlework club. We are a group of friends, neighbors and relatives with like minded interests and we are never lacking in ways to interact. We share news, patterns, techniques and knowledge and we laugh a lot.

Gardening is a hot topic in the growing season. Did your tomatoes do well this year? Do you have a recipe for a great salsa? What variety of corn are you planting? And, you may even find surplus veggies being passed out to any taker.

The wide variety of life experiences of our members shows in the stories they tell. Inga grew up in Germany and was there during World War II. Her stories are absolutely riveting. Ginny has lived in many other countries and she is a fount of information on their cultures. Mary came to Missouri from Minnesota and she can tell you just how cold it can get up North. Lively communication like this is the highlight of our meetings.

There is a loss of community in this country, and we are seeing its reflection in a diminishing of physical health and emotional well-being. We have a great remedy for loneliness: Find something you love to do and find a group of people who do it together on a regular basis. It’s simple. It’s easy and it’s free. Come join Hooks, Yarns and Thinkers at the Moberly Library any Tuesday morning at 9:30. Bring a yarn of your own and spin it!

Newspaper Article #2

2010-10-12T15:12:00.000-05:00

KEEPING YOU IN STITCHES

By Elaine and Sandy

“What’s In a Name?”…

Why is it that when a group of people of like interests begin meeting on a regular basis, they decide their group needs a name? Our particular needlework bunch came to that idea several months into our schedule. Beverly declared, “We need a name!” And we went home with orders to think on that and come up with something fitting, maybe even clever.

The next two meetings saw us trying out everyone’s ideas. Someone suggested “Happy Hookers” and, after a few laughs, we decided that wasn’t really an image we’d like to project. Another had heard of a group, “Stitch and Bitch” – there again, perhaps not a fitting moniker. We rejected both. However, in the last Herrschner’s catalog we discovered they were selling books entitled, “Stitch ‘n Bitch Nation” and “The Happy Hooker!”

A consensus was that the name needed to reflect the day we meet. A current selection from the Little Dixie Reading group, “The Friday Night Knitting Club” provided some influence. We didn’t want to be copycats, but when a member’s daughter suggested Tuesday Morning Hooks, Yarns and Thinkers we fell for it – hook, line and sinker!

Just a reminder: We meet every Tuesday morning 9:30 – 11:30, in the Little Dixie Regional Library, upstairs. Just look for the sign. The earlier you arrive, the more likely you are to find a parking spot.

Instructors are always available in both knitting and crochet. Other crafts are always welcome. We are currently searching for an instructor for tatting. If you know someone please tell us.

For more information call: 660-530-8495

This is the second article that my friend Sandy and I wrote for the local newspaper.

Writing

2010-10-05T20:11:00.002-05:00

intend to participate in NaNoWriMo again this year. This will be my third year. I have never even come close to writing 50,000 words but I do have fun.

I figure if I keep intending to do it for the whole month of October then by the time November rolls around I should be really pumped and ready to get going.

That said, I think I'll go lie down and chill.

TUESDAY MORNING HOOKS, YARNS & THINKERS

2010-10-04T16:22:00.000-05:00

In March of last year I decided to check out a new knitting group that was meeting at the local library. For the past decade I have piddled about with yarn and needles and manufactured a few rather odd looking dishcloths in the process. I couldn't seem to hold the thread right and the rhythm of the needles was way beyond my grasp.

A year and half later I am nearing the end of my first sweater and have made all manner of knitted stuff. I look forward to every Tuesday morning when our little group meets. I get out of the house no matter what the weather and get to the library to hang out and knit.

Recently one of my knitting friends suggested that we write a column about the group. And we did. Writing the column has been an incredible experience, reopening doors and revealing ideas and knowledge that I thought were long gone. It has rejuvenated me!

Here's a pic of some of our most faithful members and me, of course! And, the first newspaper article about our group. KEEPING YOU IN STITCHES is published once a week in two of our local newspapers.

KEEPING YOU IN STITCHES

If you haven’t already heard the news, we are here to tell you that knitting and crocheting are “IN”! One of the coolest things happening right now is a revival of needlework skills from long ago. Housewives, college students, retirees, folks from all walks of life are picking up needles, hooks and yarns to create beautiful, wearable, durable art. Many celebrities are into needlework. Vanna White from “Wheel” and author Debbie McComber have their own yarn lines. Julia Roberts, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Tracey Ullman have all been spotted with needles in hand. It’s not just for girls either. Retired NFL football players, Roosevelt Greer and Randy Grossman and actor, Laurence Fishburne are all knitters!

The renewed interest in needlework made us think that there might be interest in a local needlework group. And there was! The Little Dixie Regional Library graciously opened their doors to us. We have been meeting there every Tuesday morning for nearly two years. We call ourselves, “Hooks, Yarns, and Thinkers”. We are many different ages. Perhaps when you think of needlework you have an image of a little old lady bent over her needles. Sure, some of us are seniors and have been senior for a while now. But, we are also middle-aged stay-at- home moms and even quite youthful home schoolers. We come from many different backgrounds and even different countries.

Right now we are all female, but would enjoy seeing some male participation. Some of our knitters were actually taught by their fathers. More and more men are learning needlework. Published in 2007 there is a great book titled, “Men Who Knit and the Dogs Who Love Them.” Did you know that tough guy Russell Crowe is a knitter?

Let’s be honest. We are writing this column to encourage participation in our group, to show you who we are and hope that we spark your interest in joining us. We are a great group and have lots of fun as well as learning new and improving old skills. Meetings are loosely structured with no dues, agendas, or officers. Some of our members have been doing needlework of many kinds for more than 50 years and they are always ready to give instructions and assistance to newcomers.

Needlework does not have to be costly. You can often borrow needles, hooks and yarn scraps from your grandmother, aunt or a neighbor. For a small investment you can buy a single skein of yarn and a crochet hook or pair of knitting needles and be ready to go. We have plenty of patterns to share, and the library has some excellent books too. Supplies are available from Michael’s, Hobby Lobby, Ben Franklin, Jo-Anne Fabrics and the local “Mart” as well as online. A good size for beginners is an H-8 crochet hook or size 7 knitting needles paired with a worsted weight yarn.

Haven’t you always admired those beautiful handmade garments, mittens and afghans made by someone else? Haven’t you wished you could do it too? You can. Check out “Hooks, Yarns, and Thinkers” any Tuesday at 9:30 a.m. upstairs at the Little Dixie Regional Library and learn the art of creating with yarn. See you there!

Sweater Blockage

2010-09-17T10:46:00.000-05:00

I cast on this sweater in April, 2010. It is my first sweater. The pattern is called "Gytha" and I purchased it from Twist Collective. The yarn is Wool of the Andes from KnitPicks.

Two days ago I completed tucking in all the loose ends of yarn and blocked the sweater. We have had some pretty damp days and so it is still drying.

I love the colors and the color work in this sweater and can't wait to wear it. After drying, I still need to put in the sleeves, add some trim, a button and a hood and she will be ready to wear in the crisp days of Autumn that lie ahead.

An Abundance of Basil

2010-08-14T19:11:00.001-05:00

Earlier today my niece, visiting from Texas, asked me if we had an abundance of garden produce this season. I told her that because of the wet summer some things have not produced as well as in other years. After she left, I went out to see if there was a need to harvest anything and discovered that I have an abundance of basil. Huge leaves, dark and fragrant and plants that look like little shrubs. So YES, i do have an abundance....of basil.

I really love basil and now the whole house smells of it. I am blessed:)

Namaste`

The Pig of Happiness

2010-08-09T19:17:00.000-05:00

Wanderlust

2010-07-26T14:34:00.003-05:00

I feel it more with each passing day, the need to move to travel to leave the farm for a little space of time and see, feel, hear something different .

I'm thinking maybe Colorado would be good, a nice hot spring in which to soak would add to the flavor. Looking at Glenwood Springs at the moment. http://www.hotspringspool.com/index.php. In 1986 I spent the night in the Glenwood Springs hospital ER. We were traveling West. The old blue van held my husband, daughter, Erin (age 8) and friend and co-pilot, Bird-I.

A sign caught my eye. We were coming up on No Name, Colorado http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Name,_Colorado and I just had to have a picture of our group gathered around the sign. Everyone dutifully posed by the sign and we moved back to the old blue van to continue our journey. OOPs.. I leaned against the van and Bird-I shut the sliding door and caught my finger, middle finger right hand. Big ouch!.. not bad at first, it was hanging by a thread.

We had no idea where the nearest hospital was located having no cell phones, BB's etc, but a friendly fellow traveler offered that we could probably get help in Glenwood Springs. And, thus we spent New Year's Evey, 1986 in the ER. Finger successfully reattached and we drove on to Utah. I do remember spending a lot of time with my finger up in the air to help with the pain. WE were on the road for four weeks. Came home, got the pics developed and I'll be damned if the No, Name Colorado picture did not come out!

Glenwood Springs and I have a history. Maybe I'll go there again, but I won't stop at the No Name, Colorado sign.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-21T21:28:00.000-05:00

Today

2010-07-18T13:39:00.002-05:00

he storm has settled around the issues with my daughter. Her surgery was successful and though she may be left with some numbness in her cheek, she is going to be ok. Perhaps when she experiences the residual lack of feeling she will be renewed in her determination to have nothing more to do with the abusive bastard.

Two of my other daughters were gone on vacations over the last few days which resulted in a couple of free days for little old me. I have knitted, read, watched movies, enjoyed myself for the most part. I say for the most part because today I experienced the mother of all anxiety attacks. Youngest daughter and granddaughter traveling with partner are headed back to Missouri today and I tried to reach her by phone and got no answer via txt or by calling. Whoosh I am transported to a screaming weeping piece of flesh in a heartbeat. The scenarios that flashed thru my head I shall not mention but all of them were quite ugly. I finally reached her partner by phone and once I had established that all is well with my loved ones, I was fine. Well, fine except for the energy expended to get that damned upset.

I weary of anxiety issues. I exercise, eat well, meditate, do yoga, prayer, chant and work with LOA. Yet, the anxiety shows up. I can lay it at the feet of the stress created by the other daughter's pain and drama. I held up well for the two weeks in which she really needed me. Then it seems I fell apart. I am more than pissed! I have been medication free for a year and half now. I know I am still healing. I intend to be patient.

My hubs was nice and I appreciate his words. He told me that anyone who has been thru the things I have experienced in life would no doubt have some anxiety issues. And yeah I can see that. I find progress in seeing that I am not beating myself up for getting anxious. I intend to go back outside and walk around and look at the flowers and remember to love myself not matter what.

Namaste`

Slow Down Rosie

2010-07-11T12:56:00.001-05:00

Ok.. here I am today all wound up and still not taking time out to rest. The whole thing with my daughter has consumed my time and my energy over the past days.

I find myself at times being resentful because I do so much for so many people. That happens when I get very tired. Then I get angry at myself for not being more giving. That happens less these days than it used to in years past. I do love progress!

Daughter is having surgery tomorrow for a "blowout" fracture in her right orbital socket. Hopefully it will be same day surgery, incision through conjunctival tissue and quick recovery. I will be staying there tomorrow to take care of her kiddos.

This morning I made spaghetti sauce for one of the local homeless shelters. Since youngest daughter's conversion to Islam, she has become quite good about volunteering to feed these people and offers me the opportunity to help out. So I do. Although it is a difficult for me to say, being so anti-religion for so long, I can see that her religious choices have helped her mature into a gracious caring young woman.

The rain has affected the veggie gardens. The tomatoes are slow coming on, but seem to be growing well now. I picked the first cucumber today and there are more on the vines. Have seen an increase in honeybees which may be why the cucumbers are setting on nice fruit this year. Hubs planted some "San Merino" tomatoes, a sweet Italian variety similar to Romas, have yet to pick one, but two are nearly ripe. Plan to make a freezer sauce from these off of a recipe where you bake them in the oven w/garlic and herbs. Planted more sweet corn and green beans today. The first plantings produced but not enough to freeze. Am enjoying using lots of fresh basil and other herbs.

Loving the new pool and getting in as often as possible. Still doing Five Tibetan Rites sporadically, working out and lifting some weights.

Knitting on sweater continues. Just cast on second sleeve. Body is complete. This is my first sweater and I am finding it takes quite a chunk of time to complete, but the joy is often in the work.. eh?

Ok.. now I am slowing down and breathing.. in and out.. in and out..

I seem to keep myself wound up tightly so I can keep up with all these things that I want to do and enjoy doing. Yesterday I was tired a grumpy, but it passed. My mother was much the same. My granddaughter asked me yesterday if I only felt good when I was doing something. So, I am thinking I might benefit from slowing down. So I did for the time it took me to type this blog, and now something is buzzing at me.. the oven.. the washer, the dryer?? Guess I'll go check it out..

xposted to LJ

Reunion

2010-07-07T09:21:00.000-05:00

I have not spoken to my daughter since last August. Friday morning I received a call from her. She was crying so hard she could barely talk. She told me that her husband had hit her and that she needed to go to the ER and could I come pick up her children. Quickly my husband and drove over to get the little ones.

The police were still there. The house was a wreck. My daughter had a huge black eye and bloody nose. She left to go the hospital and the children came home with us. Amazingly, the kiddos seemed to remember us!

My daughter suffered an orbital floor fracture (bone beneath the eye) and two fractures in her nose. I am grateful that she was not injured worse. It seems that he hit her only one time. He was arrested, though out on bond before she got home from the hospital. She now has an ex parte against him.

All of them stayed with us until yesterday. My other daughters and I helped her get the house back in order. Her husband had trashed it out madly searching through everything in this insanity.

She has been living in fear for the past year and staying away from all of her family because her husband was threatening to harm us all. She has also been reunited with her oldest son, whom we have been caring for since the estrangement.

Lots of emotions rolling around the whole family right now. I am so pleased and happy to have her back, to have the children around again. We are all hoping and praying that now finally she is done with this man and will put him out of her life as much as is possible.

Her return filled a hole in my heart that I had not realized was so big.

xposted to LJ

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-23T11:56:00.002-05:00

Mood: happy

Wordless Wednesday

2010-04-14T12:22:00.000-05:00

Letter to a friend

2010-04-08T10:20:00.001-05:00

Hi Elizabeth,

I just love that picture.. the photographer was a very cute scoundrel who flattered me and told me my hair was like silk.. the photo shoot was fun. Erin and I had some taken together and they will remind us of the fun we had in Mexico this year.

And yeah I look really great in the picture.. I needed that cause I was feeling pretty darned old when we first arrived. Seemed like all my wrinkles showed up in the sun. The picture taking session was a very positive note.

It took us a bit to settle in to the routine there. For the first couple of days, Anah was a crazy kid. She never drinks soda back here, and Erin let her try some.. not good! But, we overcame that with time.

I managed some high anxiety and panic attacks quite well. Just let em have their way with me and let em go. I have come to think I will forever be challenged by my nerves.. oh well.. so it goes.

I am really happy to be home. We are hoping to do some renovations around here. Getting a new furnace *fingers crossed*.. the old one literally belches fire into the hallway.. we rarely use it, but still.. going to go total electric. We are also investing in a 24 ft above ground pool and I am working up my excitement for that one. I am looking forward to having some old lady afternoons w/no children lol

Joe is working hard on the gardens. We have peas sprouting, lettuce is up and the garlic and onions look good. We had some hail here the day before I got home and it shredded some of the daffodils and knocked the blooms off of the forsythia. The redbuds are getting ready to pop open. My dogwood tree looks as if its still going to bloom.. wonder if its a boy? I am thinking of going to a garden club meeting, becoming quite the socialite these days.

I am oh so relieved, happy, grateful to hear that Jake is ok. I had not talked to you since you asked for prayers and just wanted him to be all right. A new baby can really put us in touch with God I think. Their innocence inspires me.

The crocheted blanket sounds really cool. What size hook will you use? I have never crocheted anything with that itty bitty stuff, but love the way it looks. I am going to start my first sweater soon. I have the yarn, need to create the space and time I guess.

And for sure babies always had a coming home outfit. I think I still have the one I crocheted for Erin.

We are all doing well. Dylan remains in school and is now living in a trailer by himself. He is learning how to be responsible for what happens in his life and I am very proud of him. My oldest daughter is getting married in the summer. This is her third marriage and his second I think, but they seem well suited and if I were doing the choosing I would pick him for her. So, wedding plans are in the air! I am doing the flowers.. been a long time since I did that so it should be fun.

How are your kids.. still at home?

So glad you wrote.. our vibes must have crossed in the ether as I sat down I was going to write to you...

Love,

Elaine

Anah

2010-03-29T12:09:00.000-05:00

I delight in the company of my granddaughter, Anah. She is almost 7 now and still as bright and surprising as she was on the day of her birth.

She loves to read and is at the head of her class in language skills.

Enjoys being outside and is learning how to plant seeds.

She is a fierce and awesome warrior girl when her mother paints her face.

And, a tender love of animals of all kinds.

I am grateful that this beautiful young soul is my companion on my journey. She teaches me so much about unconditional love and enthusiasm for living.

Being a Mooma.. it's just the greatest thing that ever happened to me!

Quilting

2010-03-12T07:12:00.000-06:00

At long last.. and I do mean long.. I am completing the quilt I began in 1975. I am amazed that I managed to keep the pieces for so long though in those years I moved only once so that no doubt was a factor. For a long time the quilt lay in a box in the upper reaches of a closet or under a bed, untouched and not thought about and unfinished.

Then, during the last several years my interest in it was renewed and every year I got it out, did a little bit more.. a block finished one year, a border completed in another time frame. The winter of '09 saw the quilt reach completion and this spring, prodded by an old friend, I made the "sandwich" of top, batting, and bottom, ordered a Q-snap quilting frame and yesterday the quilting began.

I stand in awe of all the women who make quilts. I have seen some with the tiniest of stitches. Can you imagine 20 to the inch? Quilting is not for the faint of heart. It is a art that takes time, patience, persistence and skill. I was almost ready to fold my quilt back up and put it away again yesterday morning. I couldn't seem to get the rhythm.. couldn't rock my needle.. stitches were huge and uneven.. oh what a mess!

I kept running back to the computer, reading more instructions, more blogs hoping to find a "secret" to quilting mystique. And, I did find help and much encouragement that with time and practice the sewing will get easier. I called a friend who gave me more help and a push in the right direction and I kept on working. By noon I could see improvement and I could feel the rhythm that earlier I could not grasp.

Today, I am looking forward to getting back to it.. to complete this beautiful, practical piece of art that I began as a young woman.

xposted to LJ/rosegardenfae

Waxing Philosophical

2010-03-11T11:27:00.001-06:00

Today I find it important to remind myself that I believe that life is about process.. being in the moment.. savoring the seconds.. NOT production....

Maybe somewhere long ago in my childhood.. I was programmed to think that production was all important and I have carried that tucked away in my little brain cells just waiting to crop up occasion and lead me to think that production is VERY important, the end result.. the natural conclusion.

So, Self reminded.. its time to play..

Love to all...

Leavin on a Jet Plane

2010-02-28T08:13:00.000-06:00

Today getting ready to leave for a trip to Dallas, Tx.. must be at daughter's house by 7 a.m. in the morning and have nothing in the suitcase yet.

Doing laundry so that I 'll have everything I might want to wear clean.

Last year we went to San Antonio which was beautiful and warm. I am not expecting to find that in Dallas, but I will be visiting with my niece, Monica who lives in the area.

Monica teaches "Conscious Dance".. and also participate in kirtan so I am hoping to learn more about these two practices.

The snow remains on the ground here though only 36 miles to the south it is totally gone! We've had sunshine and above freezing temps for the past few days, but no significant snow melt yet. At least Dallas should not have snow on the ground!

I appreciate my daughter arranging this trip. She has a meeting for work down there and since we seldom do anything, just the two of us, takes me with her for some time we can enjoy together.

Leaving the kittens with my hubs. I'll miss then, but he has bonded so well with them that I know they are in good hands. I appreciate that he will take care of things around here till I return.

I'll be taking my knitting with me, maybe start a new pair of socks since they are so portable. Currently working on a hat for me with an intricate wide band, a hat for my grandson and finishing a pair of socks I started before Christmas. Knitting plans include a sweater for me.. http://www.twistcollective.com/collection/index.php/component/content/article/60-winter-2008-patterns/141-gytha-by-jennifer-appleby
and a Fair Isle hat...http://www.twistcollective.com/collection/index.php/component/content/article/78-winter-2009-patterns/504-polar-chullo-by-mary-ann-stephens. I absolutely love Fair Isle knitting! Here's a hat I just finished:

And I guess I'd better start packing.. Love to ALL...

Yes Its Snowing Here too!

2010-02-12T10:42:00.003-06:00

This winter has certainly reminded me that here in Missouri we can and do get snow and lots of it.. not sure how much is on the ground right now. It keeps melting and snowing and then doing it all over again. I haven't minded it so very much since I have lots of projects going on in the house right now. We have been sledding, built snow men and slid around on the icy pond trying to wring all the fun we can out of the white stuff.

I am actually almost finished with the quilt that I started in 1975. Will be ready to begin actually quilting it next week. In the knitting department I am working on a Fair Isle hat, my first try at that sort of knitting. I like doing this kind of work, a bit tedious, but worth the effort. I have another pair of socks almost completed. These are for me! And a scarf is lying in my knitting bag, waiting to be frogged back a few rows before beginning it again. I do love knitting and the beautiful practical things that I produce.

Grandson has moved back in with us. He is trying to get an apartment with a friend so doesn't want me to set his bedroom back up so is sleeping in my computer room at the moment. He is back at school.. high school again and seems to be hanging in there with the program so far. He has been in touch with his mother a few times, but is getting little satisfaction in that area. I have not spoken to her since August though she did accept Christmas gifts for her younger children from me and her sisters.

My exercise program now includes the Five Tibetan Rites. I have worked up to 13 reps now. I have been having a lot of challenges with my back and don't know if it is due to the Rites or not and don't know how to ascertain that. I guess I could stop doing them and see if my back gets better, but I hesitate to do that knowing that I will probably never get back into the habit of performing them daily.

I do hope that everyone is enjoying snow if they've got it and if not enjoying whatever is going on in your "neck of the woods."

Namaste`

Simple Woman's Daybook

2010-02-04T08:45:00.000-06:00

FOR TODAY

February 4, 2010...

Outside my window....it is cold, cloudy and gray.. expecting snow later tonight. Getting weary of winter and hanging onto the knowledge that Spring is not far away.
I am thinking...not much really, trying to keep down the noise in my head, wondering how this thing with my grandson will work out.
I am thankful for... being able to write some down and the friend who posted these questions that inspired me. Thank you Deb.. you are appreciated!
I am learning... that setbacks are not the end of the world and that I am stronger than I think sometimes. Getting much better at realizing I deserve to be happy.
From the kitchen...for today meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans.. On Saturday family is coming and I am doing an Olive Garden day using copycat recipes for soup and salad.
I am wearing...black pants and red tank top.. still in my jammies.
I am creating... a knitted hat in a Fair Isle pattern, my first attempt at that kind of knitting, a couple pair of socks in the works and plugging along on my scarf. Once again am working on the quilt I started in 1975.. I intend to finish it this time.

I am going...to pick up Anah at school this afternoon.
I am reading... The Help by Kathryn Stockett
I am hoping... that Dylan really does have a house to move into next week.
I am hearing...the fan on the stove, why is it so squeaky?
Around the house...cleaned really well first of the week, so letting it go today. Measuring windows that need to be replaced and thinking about redoing hubs computer room.
One of my favorite things...my new knitting needles.
A few plans for the rest of the week: as mentioned above family dinner and Lainey's birthday party on Saturday.
From my picture journal:

Abraham Quote/Remembering Ram Dass

2010-01-18T18:49:00.000-06:00

People say, "The joy is in the journey," but they rarely understand what they are saying. You are in this focused time/space reality with goals and objectives that call you because as you identify a desire it literally summons life through you. Life summoning through you is what it's all about --it's not the completion of anything.
--- Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Chicago, IL on Sunday, November 1st, 1998 #323

Our Love,
Jerry and Esther

This quote from Abraham came in my email today. I read it several times over the span of this day and am really appreciating the bit about "Life...--it's not the completion of anything.".

Ram Dass told me to "Be Here Now" over 40 years ago and I'm so happy to be learning how:)

Namaste`

New Year Spread

2010-01-02T12:51:00.000-06:00

I love Twitter! because today I found this great 3 card new year spread via a "tweet." Spread was originally posted by Tarot Dame on her blog http://tarotdame.blogspot.com/2009/12/new-year-spread-reading-with-dame.html, and was tweeted by @aurarcana. Intrigued by the tweet, boogied over to visit Tarot Dame, and wanted to immediately use the spread. I opted for the Robin Wood Tarot which is conveniently close by, and the results are:

1. What I should leave behind me when the new year arrives.
2. What I should take with me in the new year.
3. What I have to look forward to in the coming year.

Card # 1 is the 5 of Cups.. oh what a sad and lonely looking image. The wine stains the rock blood red and the dark hooded figure stares gloomily at the ground. Well who wouldn’t want to leave this behind? I certainly do! Goodbye to regret, sadness and disappointment. There are more cups still filled to the brim.. all is not lost.. Forward is my direction for this year!

1. Next card is Judgement.. the glorious golden figure that emerges from the fiery cauldron and is transformed ! Well yeah, that could be me! Its time to hear the call, take action.. transform myself into the next step on the journey. A golden Phoenix rises behind the main figure on this card..

2. Card #3 is the 2 of Wands.. Fred always said that the 2 of Wands is a card of personal power. He had a long rap about all of that, and indeed his interp has long stuck with me. There is a sense of anticipation of forward looking and the figure on this card realizes that the world is his to command, that the first stages of the energies in motion have set the stage for even greater things ahead. I feeling the fiery energy going on between the 5 of Wands and Judgement and feel that 2010 will be a year of growth and action for me.

Great reading.. what a grand and fabulous year 2010 will be for me. I love it, I’ll take it, I ‘ll run with it!........Goodbye sadness, hello adventure and spiritual awakening.

Bring on the next decade!

First Day..2010

2010-01-01T19:39:00.001-06:00

Awakened at midnight by some local fireworks, I didn't sleep as well as I might. Anah and Erin spend the night in Columbia and Anah called me this morning to tell me that she loves me. How delightful.. she is such a darling little girl and loves her Mooma so much.

I had a lot of nervous energy and focused my anxiety on the kid's who were in another city. I finally just called to see if they were OK and after a quick check in with Erin, my anxiety dissapated and was able to have a pretty good time.

I baked bread..read, knitted, finished Erin's fingerless mitts, danced, scanned some photos, took a long hot bath, cooked black eyed peas and mustard greens, ate, had a fab breakfast of smoked pork chops, home fries, fried eggs, toast and coffee.. yum

I am working on choosing a word for this year, that word will be something I want to manifest.. considering.. bloom, expand, open, flourish, creation, authenticity.. will think more on the word tomorrow.

I'd like to think I'll write again tomorrow..

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

2009-12-24T11:22:00.001-06:00

MAY YOU AND YOURS BE BLESSED DURING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!!

Catch UP

2009-12-09T15:41:00.001-06:00

Where does the time go? It passes swiftly and I can't find time to blog these days..so I'm playing catchup with this one.

Yes, we had Thanksgiving and everyone except Dylan's mother showed up at my house. I have not heard from my daughter in over four months now.

We ate lots of wonderful food and hung out together the whole day. I was very pleased that my brother and his wife were able to attend. Neither of them is in good health and I wonder every year if they will make it once again. My sister-in-law has been undergoing tests to determine if she has an infection in her bones as she is not healing well from the fractures which happened last year. She is such a wonderful person and has been laid so low, not so much from having cancer, but from the treatment which destroyed her bones.

My grandson, Dylan, moved to Kansas City in the hopes of finding employment there. He had not been able to find anything in the small town near where we live. He has not been happy there, missing his friends and family back here.

I am waiting for my granddaughter as we are going to decorate the tree. I have made gingerbread cookie dough since she asked for it. I know that her shining eyes and beautiful smile will light up the house and we will enjoy putting the tree together.

Halloween

2009-11-16T15:58:00.005-06:00

Oh my two posts in one day.. imagine that.. *giggle*

I did mean to post about Halloween right after it happened, but I didn't so I'm doing it now. We held a small party for my grandchildren and their friends and it was a huge success!

The kids wrapped each other in toilet paper to simulate making mummies.. bobbed for apples.. made masks and in general ran amuck.

I was the only adult who dressed up. My granddaughter, Anah, dubbed me the "Scary Fairy" and I liked the name. Baby Josiah.. remember the little preemie guy.... was all dressed up as a tiger.

We ate mummy dogs, spider crackers, dead fingers, chili and drank hot mulled cider. In lieu of further text I'll just put up some pictures:)

Kittens

2009-11-16T15:44:00.002-06:00

Last week one of my favorite people and someone who I met online.. yes one does make real friends that way...came to visit me for several days. My friend is a cat breeder who raises and shows purebred Persians and Exotic Shorthaired cats. She also rescues cats and kittens from a local shelter and fosters them until she can take them to cat shows and put them up for adoption there. Right before she came to see me, she tweeted that she had found two brown kittens. Brown? I had never heard of brown cats before.

I was immediately interested. So I tweet my interest back at her and she says, "I can bring them down so you can see them and if you don't like them, I'll take them back." I said sure, bring em on down:)

Well, I fell in love. They are just so darn cute and yes they are really brown. According to my friend they are very likely a breed known as Havana Browns that have been bred from Siamese. No wonder I was hooked so easily. Siamese are just about my all time favorite breed of cat.

My older cats are really pissed and only now have started coming back into the house. They still hiss and shy away from the kittens like these two tiny scraps of life are going to do them so damage. But, they'll adjust or they'll spend more time outside. The kittens are here to stay.

Purple Socks

2009-10-22T11:38:00.001-05:00

I just completed this great pair of purple tweedish socks! This is my first time at knitting with a pattern stitch and in the beginning I nearly gave it up as I had to "frog". (rip it) quite a few times before I got the hang of it. Once I got the rhythm of the stitch it went easily and I am loving wearing these beauties.

They were knitted on size 1 needles using Stroll fingering weight sock yarn from Knit PIcks.www.knitpicks.com/knitting.cfm I like this yarn. It works up well, will know more after I wash them for the first time. It is superwash merino wool with just a bit of poly something for stretch.

The pattern is called Hedgerow Socks and is offered as a free download at Ravelry..http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/hedgerow-socks-2.

I continue to knit mittens for charity, am sending them to a Native American reservation in the Dakotas and my next project will be a scarf.

Bicycling

2009-09-18T13:52:00.000-05:00

I am so happy that I have taken up bike riding. I can even stay up on it! As a child I did not demonstrate a great deal of talent in the area of bicycle riding. Received a beautiful blue Western Flyer for my 12 th birthday and immediately ran into a tree and dented the front fender. Still have a scar from another bicycling incident. Thus, it was with a wee bit of trepidation that I approached the concept of getting on a bike and riding it. I did fall off twice in the beginning, but did not get badly hurt. My pride was a bit dinged.

My first adult bike was a purple Wal Mart one, not a bad bike, but not super like the one I have now. I was never comfortable on it, couldn't quite reach the ground and felt all shaky. But, now I'm "cooking with gas".. for my upcoming 63rd birthday my wonderful husband bought me a comfort bike complete with soft seat and front shock, aluminum frame and upright handle bars. I am one very grateful woman! I love this new bike and I love riding it. We've been going out to the park and teaching our granddaughter, Anah to ride. She's just starting out and is using training wheels.

We love to ride on Sunday mornings in town when there is very little traffic and are planning an excursion to the Katy Trail that winds along the Missouri river just as soon as the leaves turn colors.

Putting Away the Wire

2009-09-16T16:38:00.004-05:00

And so today I finished packing away my wire and beads. I can't seem to find time or inspiration to make jewelry right now so am concentrating on my knitting projects.

Completed the first pair of mittens which are for a charity project that I got hooked up with via an Etsy friend. They will be sent to a reservation in S.D. If I can just figure out how to eliminate the little hole where the thumb attaches on I'll be more than pleased with the outcome. Have started pair #2.

I continue to make socks, socks, socks.. and am just about ready to begin a pair for me.

I love my new knitting needles.. not only are they a delight to look at with their brightly colored wood, they are so smooth the yarn just glides along. You can see them here.
.
http://www.knitpicks.com/needles/wood_knitting_needles__L300306.html

And, while I was organizing my jewelry making stuff I found a little tree of life pendant that was almost finished and completed it, adding some fluorite and rose quartz beads, a strand of leather and a ready made clasp and voila a new necklace!

Magic House was Fun

2009-09-03T12:49:00.007-05:00

http://www.magichouse.org/

Took the granddaughters to the Magic House in St. Louis, Mo recently. They have added new attractions and the girls really had a good time.

We've been going to the Magic House since the early 80's and every time we find something new and wonderful to learn and experience.

If you're in Missouri or visiting check it out.. a great place for children and for those of us who never want to grow up!

On Second Thought

2009-09-01T09:50:00.001-05:00

Ok.. so I reread my post yesterday and felt like I was whining.. and what I really want to say is that I do so realize how difficult this whole thing is for my grandson. He is going to a new school, strarting his first job, and has been deserted by his mother. And, he is holding up really well.

I am proud of his resilience and his smiles in the face of so much change.

I appreciate his offers of help, love listening to him playing his guitar, and want so very much for him to succeed in his new endeavors.

I Never Imagined

2009-08-31T11:12:00.000-05:00

I never imagined that I would be raising a teenager again.

Throughout the summer there have been many incidents of my son-in-law physically abusing my 17 year old grandson, Dylan. Dylan has come here for refuge several times. Now he is living here.

His mother, who had come to me for help and with every intention of divorcing the abusive husband has moved away and abandoned Dylan. I do know she is alive after talking to one of her neighbors, and I have found out that she has gone to a city about 400 miles away with said husband taking her two small children with her. She has left her job as a nurse, her very nice home is sitting empty and her dog and her son are with me. She has changed her cell phone number and has not been in touch with anyone in the family. Am I worried? Yes!

We converted what was the little kid's playroom back into a bedroom for Dylan and he is back in school. His mother let him drop out last year. He also has a job and we are all working to adjust.

Gosh its hard having someone in the house all the time. I find myself with little time for the computer, for making jewelry, for having fun. I know it will get easier as we settle into a routine. I hate to admit it, but I am being way too hard on myself for not feeling differently right now, not giving myself enough time to get used to all this it seems. Its just hard.

I am grateful that my husband and I have the room for this kid. He's bright and he's had such a hard time of it.

I wish my daughter would call. I hope she's doing ok.

And, I've got to go do laundry.

What's goin' on?

2009-08-18T13:52:00.001-05:00

What am I doing?

I am busy.. I am freezing green beans, tomatoes and peaches. I am working to integrate my grandson into my life since he has moved in to my home to live. I am getting him ready for school.

I am working to accept that my daughter just moved away and left her son.

I am loving the company of my grandchildren large and small.

I am baking a pie for a neighbor whose husband died.

I am doing laundry.

Where have I been?

I went to see Heart in concert last Friday.. that was fun! It evoked great memories of concerts past and dreams of concerts future.

I went to St. Louis with two of my daughters and 3 grandchildren. We took the kids to the Magic House and watched them find their joy.

I'm up .. I'm down.. I'm all around.. dealing with lots of family drama.. trying not to let it get me down. I am facing life drug free and there are days I would like to take a hand full of pills, but I don't. I won't..

I'm learning to cope.. to find joy.. to let go.. to sing and dance again.. I have everything I need to etch some copper and when things calm down a bit, I'll be back making jewelry.. and I'm still knitting socks..

and now I've got to finish that pie..

love you all..

How about a pic from the night of the concert.. taken with my daughter's Blackberry..

xposted to LJ

Living, but not Blogging

2009-07-27T19:35:00.001-05:00

I've been simply terrible about blogging this summer, too much life to live I think.

I ate delicious tomatoes from the garden instead of blogging.

I find myself twittering instead of blogging.

I find myself swimming instead of blogging.

Today I went shopping and purchased a lovely piece of denim for use in recovering the bar stools. Lots of grandchildren eating lots of meals and dropping lots of food particles on the old ones has rendered them quite nasty. I refuse to shampoo them one more time so am redoing them instead.

So, I'll be sewing instead of blogging.

I made several pairs of earrings and am nearly finished with a bracelet, took a trip to the lake, read a great many books, but didn't blog.

But, now I've blogged and I feel pretty darn good about it.

Swimming Pools

2009-06-26T14:31:00.000-05:00

Just back in the house from a little dip in the pool. Now when I say pool don't get the idea that it is a huge inground pool.. nope nothing like that, but it is 12 ft in diameter and plenty deep enough to get good and cool in. Heck, I can even swim back and forth across it. And the grandgirls love it!

For years I had wanted a pool of this sort because *gosh* Missouri sure does get hot in the summer. Even the AC doesn't seem to keep me cool enough. My husband was adamant that a pool would #1 be too expensive, and #2 be too much work. When we tore down our old garage what remained was a large concreted pad.. hah I thought... the perfect spot for a pool. Thus, last year I just jumped in and went out and bought a pool. It was great. I loved it. One day all the water went out in a giant *whoosh*.. oops.. Big leak in the ring at the top, couldn't find the leak, couldn't fix it. So, I bought another pool, different syle, bigger, better and within two days it was ready to go. It has lasted thru the rest of last year's season and so far so good this year.

Husband.. who never gets in the pool... takes care of it, keeps it clean and everything in working order! He seems to have forgotten or let go of all his arguments against having it. Today I am grateful for the pool, for the husband who takes care of it and pays for the water, and the grandgirls who enjoy it so much.

Here's a pic of my first pool which is a bit smaller as am I, and the grandgirls enjoying the one I have now:)

xposted to LJ "Rosegardenfae"

An Attempt at Being a Diarist

2009-06-24T13:41:00.000-05:00

I know I don't post very often. Summer is a very busy time of year especially with all the gardening going on. In an attempt to better record simple daily happenings I am posting today.

Morning.. delivered bookcase, computer desk, and file cabinet to my oldest granddaughter who lives about 30 minutes away. Went there with youngest daughter and enjoyed playing with Josiah, the Miracle Baby who continues to thrive and smile and is now crawling.

Came home picked a HUGE bowl of green beans, one of the stainless steel "mother bowls" as they are known around here. Hope someone comes by to pick some up. They are beautiful. I appreciate Erin's help in the picking.

After picking since we were very hot, Erin and I got in the pool and cooled off. Ate a bit of lunch and then pulled up some of the going to seed lettuce and planted beets and eggplant. Wasn't able to find eggplant starts so this is an experiment to see if the seeds will actually come up. These went into the raised bed. Soil there looks really good! Years of compost pays off!

Did not see the Manifesting Monday thread so let me say that I appreciate good health and prosperity and the way it continues for myself and my family. I love the beautiful flowers, vegetables, butterflies and birds. And, I am most appreciative that my relationship with my husband is improving. We've always been friends and that is enough:)

Big wind last night left leaves and debris scattered across the newly mown lawn. I'm thinking that it will lay there till its time to mow again at which time it will be chopped to bits. I'm sure not picking it up! More wind in the forecast for tonight anyways. What is it with the wind? Every year it increases. Chopping down too many trees!!

And, of course I can't resist a picture.. how about one near the pool. I'm very happy with the way that area has blossomed this year, it's a great place to relax.

Love and blessings to all!

xposted to LJ

A Bit of Wire Wrapping Re Enters My life

2009-06-19T13:13:00.004-05:00

Recently I enjoyed making a few pieces of jewelry again. I had all but gotten rid of my beads and wire thinking that maybe I would never do this sort of work again. But, I am pleased that the urge to play with wire came at me again and I grabbed on and got busy. As is usually my habit I made the first pair from copper. I love the look of the copper especially with the peridot beads and the rosy headpins fromHigher ChakraSupply. For the silver ones I chose sodalite beads for the accents along with some 2mm silver beads and plain headpins. I like them. I'll wear them. My kids will wear them. It's all good!

First Pair of Socks Complete

2009-06-09T19:24:00.005-05:00

I just realized that I never posted a picture of the finished socks.. and now I've almost finished two more pair.. I really like this particular yarn, Lang's Jawoll Sock Yarn, and I've now got three more balls of it in my yarn stash.

Anah's New Hairdo

2009-06-09T19:21:00.000-05:00

Anah has been talking a lot about wanting straight hair, not liking her curls, wanting to have hair like her mom's.. an awful lot of thinking too much about what she looks like for a six year old. Not wanting to chemically straighten the child's hair, her mother purchased some "stuff" with natural ingredients and headed off to the beauty salon where said "stuff" was duly applied and then her hair was blow dried and flatironed with a whole different girl emerging.. It lasted only a day. By the second day the high humidity was causing the curls to return, but for that one day Anah was very happy with her new look. She tossed her head this way and that and ran her hands through the long strands. Personally I prefer the curls, and have spent a lot of time and money on perms for my hair to get them. Perhaps it's just that we always want what we don't have?

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-03T14:27:00.003-05:00

Gardens are Growing

2009-05-18T14:08:00.008-05:00

I have just been so slothful when it comes to blogging but I've been really busy and it just seems to take a back seat sometimes.

Still working steadily on the socks.. almost finished with the first pair!

Here's what I've been working on outside:

First the garden path.. the whole thing had to be lifted and new sand put down underneath.. and we did one of the brick patios too!

Right now the iris are blooming and they are certainly beautiful:)

I've been picking salad greens for a couple of weeks and they are delicious..

And the girls are loving the new hanging chair too!

Knitting Socks

2009-04-30T19:06:00.002-05:00

I've got to say that I just love knitting socks! At first I was confused dismayed and frustrated as I worked to learn how to control four tiny knitting needles. It felt like knitting with toothpicks. Time passes.. doesn't it always? and with practice and patience I feel comfortable with the needles and, in fact, like using the little ones much better than the bigger ones. The needles are siz 1 1/2 and are wooden.. another thing I love, wooden needles.. and the yarn is cool too.. what fun to see how the stripes come together and wonder what color is coming up next. The yarn for my first pair is reasonably monochromatic, but just wait the next pair is going to be done in rainbow color.. can't wait. It is a fingering weight yard of wool, cotton, and nylon.

Creating the heel was a challenge, but I am pleased with the result and the next one will be much easier. Moving on to the toe now and soon the first sock will be complete! I have many future knitting projects in mind, but for right now it's socks!

And, sure I've got a picture..

Daffodils

2009-04-25T08:54:00.000-05:00

I've been very busy working outside in the yard and gardens and have not been online much of late, thus no blogging.. this is a quick one with daffodil pictures.. the cooler temperatures have allowed the bulbs to stay in bloom a long time this spring, but warm weather has come and they are fading fast. I've a lot to be grateful for as always.. lovely weather, beautiful flowers, loving grandchildren, happy family, good health, improving knitting skills, stable income, increased energy, up time, down time, time, good books, wonderful home.. and now for pictures

My Horoscope Today from Free Will Astrology

2009-04-14T15:03:00.001-05:00

   SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If intelligent extraterrestrial beings
arrived on planet Earth and asked for a meeting, who would we send forth
to serve as our ambassador? Believe it or not, the favorite choice, as
determined in an Internet poll, was heavy metal musician and TV
personality Ozzy Osbourne. Although he wouldn't be my own top
candidate, I could see how a Sagittarian pioneer like Osbourne would make
sense. Your tribe is especially adept right now at facilitating
unprecedented combinations. If anyone could successfully compare apples
and oranges, it would be you. If anyone could explain to an anthropologist
from Mars the deeper meaning of Paris Hilton and the Octo-mom and the
American government's purchase of toxic assets, it would be you.

I'm Knitting

2009-04-03T09:15:00.001-05:00

Went to the library on Monday where an old friend is teaching knitting classes and I have been inspired to pick up my needles again. I finished a dishcloth in a gorgeous red yarn. I started it before Christmas, and today began another dishcloth in variegated blues. I find that these small pieces are a great way to introduce myself to new stitches.

I also ordered a kit for a delightful purse and some yarn for socks. Will be going to the city next week to pick up a bicycle for Anah's birthday and while I"m there am going to a local yarn shop to get some bamboo needles for the socks, and then I'm ready for the knitting adventure to begin in earnest.

I seem to have lost interest in jewelry making and certainly am not into selling it anymore, but need a new way to express myself creatively. I have two new books on collage making and am also tending to think about working in collage again sometime quite soon. It feels good to let go of the need to be a commercial success and to make art for its own sake alone

Today the sun is brightly shining and I plan to get out and work in the yard again. The days that have been available for working outside have been spotty so far this spring so I jump at any chance to get going out there. I am thinking to place my focus on the herb garden today as I have done little out there so far.

I am grateful for sunshine, energy and desire for gardening work, emerging creativity, reconnection with old friends and the love of my family.

Namaste`

xposted to LJ Rosegardenfae

The Mexican Riviera - a great place to vacation!!

2009-04-01T09:33:00.001-05:00

The computer issue has gratefully resolved and so before I become involved in working outside today here are some pictures from my vacation on the Yucatan Peninsula aka The Mexican Riviera. The hotel staff welcomed us with a glass of champagne and continued during our stay to be helpful and courteous. I felt like a queen with all the attention. We took a tour of the hotel's greenhouse and after hearing about all the ways in which this particular hotel uses "green" technology knew that we had made a good choice and will go there again. The whole family is saving money for another trip to Hacienda Tres Rios.

The food was ever present and delicious, a constant array of delights in which I indulged to my heart's content. We tasted every strange dish, enjoyed ocotopus kebabs, reveled in fresh fruit and were awed by the avacados.

The beds were soft and the pillows plump. The three pools stretched out forever and were a great place to lounge. I loved the beds on the beach, what fun. Went on a foray into the jungle and paddled back down the river to the ocean in a kayak. Took a side trip to the ecopark, Xcaret, http://www.xcaret.com/, where my granddaughter swam with the dolphins, creating lifelong memories.

Didn't want to come home to the freezing temperature lol.. but am grateful that we survived the worst plane ride of my entire life! And now for pictures....

The Pools

Our Favorite Spot for Breakfast

How about a nap on the beach?

And YES I did rest!!

Ah the beautiful blue ocean!
Anah swims with the dolphins!

Adios Amigos

2009-03-18T10:26:00.000-05:00

I'm all about traveling these days and tomorrow night will be driving to Kansas City for the first leg in my trip to the Mexican Riviera. I am going there with my youngest daughter and granddaughter. We will flying out of KCI at 9:30 a.m. and expect to land in sunny Mexico about 2:30 in the afternoon. We will return to Missouri next Wednesday night.

The accomodations are terrific..

http://haciendatresrios.com/

Our trip plan is all inclusive so food and drink are included.. I can't wait to eat, drink, and be merry, lounge on the beach, get a tan, soak up sun, see the sights, enjoy wildlife, hear my granddaughter's laughter, be with my daughter, wear my new clothes, and be joyful, grateful, and at peace. Of course I don't have to wait.. I have all these things and more right now!

My daughter has been down there several times, but this is my first trip and I am so excited! I am taking lots of pictures and will write another post when I get back.

I am grateful for my daughter who bought me the ticket.
I am grateful for my husband who takes care of things at home.
I am grateful for the abundance of the universe.
I am grateful for the love that surrounds and upholds me.
I am grateful for good health and wonderful body.

adios amigos.. vaya con dios..

My New Earrings

2009-03-10T11:16:00.002-05:00

Nothing difficult about making these new earrings, but I really do enjoy wearing them. I created them especially for my Texas vacation and will take them to Mexico too! Did I mention that I'm going to Mexico next week? Yes, another trip, this time to near Playa del Carmen with my daughter and granddaughter. More on that later.

And ah the earrings are made using a copper connector, various sizes and shapes of copper beads and some 3mm turquoise for color.

Rain and Spaghetti

2009-03-10T11:11:00.000-05:00

I've let this blank page sit here for hours now because I don't have a catchy title for today.. weird I know, but that's what has happened. While the temperatures are warm it is raining outside and I believe that I delayed my scheduled walk a bit too long and unless it clears I will be exercising in the house again.

I have really enjoyed our Wii Fit and it keeps me in line as far as working out goes. I let go of quite a lot of weight during the benzo withdrawal and am happy with this unexpected side effect so am trying hard to keep the weight off. Along with the Wii fit I am using a DVD by Leslie Sansone that is based on walking with a lot of upper body involvement that really gets your heart rate elevated. I am up to doing two miles with Leslie and if I walk in the park can now do close to 3 miles. I am happy to be back to exercising on a regular basis as it lifts my spirit while maintaining good health.

Last night was Anah's basketball practice.. what a hoot! Most of those kindergarteners and first graders are pretty clueless about how to play and I laughed and laughed at their antics. Family members were invited to play and I even got out on the court with her and Erin. Now that was a sight to see as I haven't played basketball in 35 years or more. It was FUN!

Planning to make spaghetti later. Rogie and her family are coming over and Anah will be here after school so spaghetti seems like a good meal for a hungry horde like that. It's wonderful to feel like cooking for folks again.

and a few grats..

I am grateful for the rain. It's been a dry winter.
I appreciate my family and the joy of grandchildren.
I love being able to go to the grocery and get whatever I need.
I am grateful to feel good enough to play basketball with my granddaughter and to be a part of her life.
I am super happy to feel spring in the air and to see signs of its advent everywhere I look.

Namaste`

Gone and Back Again

2009-03-06T18:56:00.000-06:00

Just back from a short vacation to San Antonio, Texas. I truly meant to write about it while I was down there and took along the laptop for that very purpose. But alas, the internet connection at the hotel was the pits and so nothing got done. At first I was frustrated by that outcome, but decided that the Universe simply wanted me to have time away from electronics and so it was.

I had a wonderful time, lots of good food, great company, long strolls along the Riverwalk, fantastic spa experiences, and just general relaxation. I am super grateful for my wonderful kind loving daughter, Tracy, who took me along on a business trip. Every once in a while I get the opportunity to accompany her and always jump at the chance.

I had not been in San Antonio since the late 1980's so it had been a while. I will certainly try to get back down there and do some of the things I missed this time around.

I didn't stop my yahoo group mail since I thought I'd have a connection, so have been wading through tons of email today, but am nearly caught up now.

The weather was incredible down south.. temps mid 80's and I am pleased that it is warm here at home now too! I can feel spring in the air now which is very exciting, have planted lettuce, spinach, onions and potatoes and the crocus are blooming.. Bring it on.. I am so ready!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-02-25T13:41:00.003-06:00

Another Step Forward

2009-02-20T09:47:00.000-06:00

As I continue to reinvent myself I was able to take another step forward and volunteer at my granddaughter's Valentine Day's party. If I can handle a room full of squealing kindergarteners then I can do anything! Hooray for healing and progress!

I am grateful for grandchildren and their unconditional love!

And while I'm thinking about grandchldren.. I am also grateful for great grandchildren and the wonderful way in which Baby Josiah, my second great grandson is growing.. born at 27 weeks gestation, he now weighs over 12 lbs, is cooing, gooing, and smiling up a storm.

May you all be blessed today and every day~
Namaste`

What's in a Name? by Danielle Fox

2009-02-16T16:19:00.002-06:00

Got this in my email and thought it worth reprinting.. some good ideas on how to name your jewelry projects from the editor of "Stringing".. Danielle Fox

You remember the famous line Shakespeare’s Juliet says to her Romeo, “What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Well, I beg to differ, Miss Capulet. Here in the Stringing and Beadwork offices, we place high importance on names, or, in our case, titles. For instance, would you, dear Beading Daily reader, prefer to make a project called Red and White Beads on Steel Wire Necklace or Beach-ball Bling? I rest my case.

Michelle Mach, Beading Daily’s editor, brought it to my attention that coming up with good titles is something people—herself included—struggle over sometimes. As the editor of Stringing magazine, I assign and edit titles so often, I don’t really give much thought to the mechanics behind it anymore. So, when asked by Michelle to share some title advice, I had to stop and think a bit. What do I and the rest of the Stringing staff think about when naming projects? Here’s what I came up with:

4 Tips for Naming Your Jewelry Projects

1. Keep it short. One to three words is best. In Stringing magazine, we don’t have much room for titles—they have to fit on one line. Keep in mind that it’s not necessary to say “Necklace” or “Bracelet” in the title, either. Usually the introductions and/or photos clarify what the projectis. Here’s a shorter-is-better example: Lorelei Eurto’s fabulous necklace on the cover of the new Stringing Spring 2009, A Jealous Mistress, was originally named Art Is a Jealous Mistress for the saying on her focal piece. We took off the words “Art Is,” which shortens the title but retains the intrigue.

2. Relate it to your design without being too literal. Think about it: If all titles were literal, every project in Stringing would be called Pretty Strung Necklace or some variation of that. When naming your project, think about what materials are used, what/who your project reminds you of (could be an emotion, a character in a book, a season, a place, etc.), or what distinguishes your project—is it simple, colorful, striking, etc.? Molly Schaller chose an excellent name for her piece in Stringing Spring 2009 that was designed around a pewter pendant with a bubble design: Effervescence. It’s short and it describes the bubbly nature of the project.

3. Make them fun! Alliteration. Onomatopoeia. Figures of speech. Plays on words. Kookie references. Bring it on! Everything about making jewelry should be fun, after all. One of my favorite titles from the new Stringing Spring 2009 is Mrs. Roper’s Earrings. The colorful floral earrings were created (and named) by Tracey Johnson, whose title pays homage to the flashy landlady from the late-seventies show Three’s Company.

4. French-ify it! A joke we have here in the Stringing and Beadwork office is that when all other ideas fail, find a French word to throw in your title. Don’t believe me? I named a project Enamel Amour in my upcoming book with coauthor Melinda Barta, Beadwork’s editor, Mixed Metals: Creating Contemporary Jewelry with Silver, Gold, Brass & More. And Melinda named a beautiful berry-inspired necklace she made for Beadwork (October/November 2008) Flirty Framboise (framboise being French for raspberry). French words just have that je ne sais quoi.

Remember to send me your titles (and the projects attached to them) for consideration in Stringing magazine. See the contributor guidelines for details and upcoming deadlines.

Danielle Fox is the editor of Stringing, author of Simply Modern Jewelry, and coauthor of Mixed Metals. If you have questions or comments for Danielle, please post them on the website.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-02-11T09:42:00.000-06:00

January Seems Long

2009-02-02T10:22:00.002-06:00

January has seemed like the longest month ever and I realized today that I haven't posted in some time. Why?

I haven't posted because I haven't felt good, and didn't want sound like a whiner because after all I made the decision to get off valium, didn't I?

But, in the interests of my being able to look back at this post someday and see how the whole thing went down, I am posting today to say that the road to recovery is full of bumps. After feeling like I was "out of the woods" mid January saw me struggling with super anxiety, panic attacks and nasty self confidence issues. Thus I became quiet, didn't want anyone to know I wasn't the poster child for benzo withdrawal.

But, on a positive note, I haven't broke down and taken a dose. Oh, I've thought about it many times. But, after all I've been through getting off the drugs I feel like I've got to continue on my chosen path. Research reveals that most folks take at least a year and some a whole lot longer to get totally well. I am called to be patient, to be gentle with myself and to take time out to relax more.

I'm reasonably certain that I've done too much during the days that I was feeling so good.. shopping trips, vacations, family dinners, and much housecleaning.. and now my CNS has it's knickers in a knot lol.. so I will treat myself better, take a long hot bath, read another book, watch another movie and remember I am in the process of healing.

I continue to be grateful.. for all the birds who come to my feeders, for my family, my husband's help and support, letting go of so much weight and being able to wear a size 8 again.. a lifestyle that gives me the opportunity to rest, and glimpses into all that life holds for me as I continue to get better and better.

Moriah's "Crone Wisdom"

2009-01-20T08:22:00.003-06:00

Some people confuse acceptance with apathy,

but there's all the difference in the world.

Apathy fails to distinguish between

what can and what cannot be helped;

acceptance makes that distinction.

Apathy paralyzes the will-to-action;

acceptance frees it by relieving it of impossible burdens.

Oh oh.. I've Been Tagged

2009-01-18T19:08:00.003-06:00

Wow I almost forgot that I had been tagged, but thanks to Twitter and a blurb by The Filigree Garden, I remembered in time. I was tagged by Chris from Fused Glass and now I have to come up with 7 random things about me.. things you may not already know.. things you probably don't want to know.. lol.. or just things!

1. I've been married four times
2. I have two great grandsons.
3. I didn't go to college until I was past 45.
4. Three of my four daughters are nurses.
5. I once hugged Ziggy Marley.
6. I was a "Deadhead"... Grateful Dead Follower/groupie for many years.
7. I used to do singing telegrams dressed as a Playboy bunny!

And I am supposed to tag 7 more people, but you know what I just can't. It's not that I don't want to play along, and you can call me a spoil sport if you want.. but I just can't.

I Made Something!!

2009-01-13T10:01:00.008-06:00

Since the title of this blog is about making things I am happy to announce that I made a bracelet. It's been a long time since I've felt creative and this project sure did make me feel good. Made in copper with turquoise beads it is a prototype for upcoming versions in silver. Thought I had the right size wire, but oops not so.. so the project is on hold till supplies arrive. It is incredibly comforting to know that I still can and will make things again.

This pattern is from a tutorial from Eni Oken's Jewelry Making site, a place I love to go and look at new ideas and buy tutorials at which to try my hand.

You Just Got to LOVE Maxine!

2009-01-09T06:02:00.001-06:00

Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'

So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.

The Great Wolf Lodge Adventure

2009-01-06T10:33:00.001-06:00

On January 1 two of my daughters and I along with their daughters ages 4 and 5 drove to Kansas City, Kansas for a two day stay at the Great Wolf Lodge. What is the Great Wolf Lodge you might ask.. and then I would say well it is a hotel/motel combined with an indoor water park and other child oriented activities. A bit on the pricey side but since there were 3 adults we were able to split the cost and come out nicely.

I was impressed by the hotel's emphasis on "being green", the first time I have stayed in a room that had a recycle bin in the room! The food was delicious, healthy and we enjoyed eating constantly. The indoor water park was loud so I wore ear plugs:) There were water slides, a lazy river, hot tubs, wading pools and a really warm swim area, all contained within the three story building, amazing really. The children were enthralled and spent several hours each day delighting in the water activities while it was cold cold outside.

On our last evening we drove next door to Legends Mall where we ate at the T-Rex Restaurant. Wow.. dinosaurs everywhere, big ones. The dinosaurs roared, a volcano on a huge screen erupted. We sat under a giant octopus whose tentacles constantly moved. On the next level was a woolly mammoth complete with artificial snow and the gift shop ceiling was comprised of a BIG model of the solar system. The granddaughters squealed with delight every time the dinosaur bellowed and shrieked as the lava started to flow on screen. The food was good, abundant and served nicely. An all around great experience.

I am incredibly grateful to have been able to have this experienced with my family. This is the first time I have left home since I started coming off the head meds and I sailed through it wonderfully, couldn't ask for more!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2009-01-01T08:48:00.004-06:00

The future belongs to those

who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

I Feel GREAT!!

2008-12-28T07:39:00.001-06:00

I am now 27 days away from taking my lase dose of valium and I feel great! Symptoms are dropping away on a daily basis now.

Had an active day yesterday, even got out some wire to make a bracelet so it seems creative idea are slowly reappearing in my head.

I continue to feel normal, normal for me I think at least! I am pleased that I no longer have feelings of derealization.. that's way cool .. I am going on a short vacation to Kansas City next week and looking foward to some time seeing other scenery.

The weather is more back to normal today. Yesterday we experienced really wild weather.. tornadoes in an adjacent county, lots of thunderstorms with lightening and high winds.. crazy for this time of year. Freezing temps last night, but sun today and a high in the 40's so not bad. We had some flooding, but I live on the top of a hill so not affected by that.

I intend to continue to feel good, to continue to leave sx's by the wayside and to live life to its fullest.

I intend to begin creating jewelry again.

I intend to enjoy the company of my family.

I intend to help others on the road to recovery.

I intend to celebrate LIFE!

Love and healing energy to all!

xposted LJ "Rosegardenfae"

Happy Holidays

2008-12-26T05:58:00.002-06:00

Wishing everyone a fabulous holiday season, no matter how you celebrate it! This is simply the best christmas for me in such a long time. I have turned a big corner in my healing process and was able to enjoy yesterday with my family feeling clear and able to have real FUN.. May you all be blessed during this season and the coming new year!

Butterfly Award

2008-12-19T06:32:00.003-06:00

The Filigree Garden bestowed an award on my blog and mentioned me too and in return I am passing on the "Butterfly Award" to ten more blogs that I read and enjoy!

You also may want to check out Filigree Garden's shop on Etsy which is well worth a look! Here you will find a blend of vintage and new handmade jewelery.

And my awards go to:

Joonbeam
Nefaeria
Six Sisters
Hemlock Hollow
Fehustoneware
Crochet n' Garden
Jean Levert Hood
Grecian Gold
J Stinson
Designs By Christine

Now those receiving the awards are urged to do the following:
1. Post a copy on your blog.
2. Mention who gave you the award.
3. Pass the award on to 10 others.
4. Leave a message on their blog letting them know the honour has been bestowed upon them.

RIP First Lady of Star Trek

2008-12-19T06:22:00.002-06:00

Majel Leigh Hudec was born in Cleveland, Ohio, where she grew up. When she was ten, she enrolled in an acting workshop. She continued her interest in acting at Shaker Heights High School but went to college with the intent of becoming a legal clerk. Majel attended law school for a year, but after receiving an 'F' in contract law, she moved to New York and landed parts in, "Models By Season," which was staged in Boston. Then she did a nine-month run in "The Solid Gold Cadillac," which toured New Orleans, Texas, Oklahoma and San Francisco, California.

Deciding the competition was too stiff in New York, Majel moved to California and the Pasadena Playhouse. There she got a role in, "All for Mary." In the late fifties, she worked in various Paramount films, including, "Black Orchid," "As Young as We Are," and "The Buccaneer." Then she decided that the real progress was happening in television and that's where she wanted to be.

After appearing in several series, like, Westinghouse Desilu Playhouse, Window on Main Street, Bonanza, and Pete and Gladys, she met Lucille Ball at an acting class and was signed to a contract with Desilu. Soon after she appeared in an episode of the Lucy Show, called "Lucy is a Kangaroo for a Day."

In 1964, when she was no longer under exclusive contract, Majel accepted a guest role on the new MGM series, The Lieutenant, produced by Gene Roddenberry. Majel became good friends with Gene and ultimately, years later, became his wife.

Later in 1964, Roddenberry cast her in a co-starring role in "The Cage," the pilot for his science fiction series, Star Trek. She played 'Number One,' second in command on a fictitious starship. However, the character's strength and authority in the Star Trek universe was unsettling to NBC and they ordered a second pilot made, without the woman, Number One.

When Roddenberry sold his second Star Trek pilot to the network, he remembered Majel's work in "The Cage" and hired her as Nurse Christine Chapel. Instead of the dark-haired M. Leigh Hudec that they had disliked in the other pilot, she now used the name Majel Barrett and wore a blond wig as Chapel. Majel remains the only actor to have contributed to every facet of the Star Trek phenomenon.

On August 6, 1969, Majel married Gene Roddenberry in Japan, in a traditional Buddhist-Shinto ceremony. They regarded this as their real wedding, but his divorce was not yet final and they made it legal with a civil ceremony on December 29, 1969. On February 5th, 1974, they welcomed the arrival of their newborn son, Eugene Wesley Roddenberry, Jr., known affectionately as "Rod."

Since Roddenberry's death, Barrett produced the sci-fi series Andromeda with Kevin Sorbo and Earth: Final Conflict. In 1996, Barrett, often called "The First Lady of Star Trek," guest starred on Babylon 5, the science fiction series that was widely considered to be Star Trek's challenger and competitor. Farther outside the Star Trek universe, Barrett appeared in A Guide to the Married Man with Walter Matthau, Westworld with Yul Brynner, and The Domino Principle with Gene Hackman, but her roles in such films were always small. She also voiced the computer in an episode of Family Guy

Most recently, she reprised her role as the voice of the USS Enterprise for the new movie, Star Trek XI.

Majel owned and operated Lincoln Enterprises, a mail order business that she and Gene started to deal with the mountain of requests for Star Trek-related materials. Some of her hobbies include golf, gold working, gourmet cooking and gem cutting.

Majel Barrett Roddenberry passed away December 18, 2008, at 12:27 AM in her Bel Air home. She died peacefully, in her sleep, and was surrounded by family and loved ones.

I Can, I Anticipate, I Know

2008-12-08T11:40:00.003-06:00

Having been reminded by both my body and my mind that I am still "on the road" to recovery and not at the end I am stealing this format from a friend of mine as I find it helpful to remind myself just where I am right now and where I want to go. I begin with things I couldn't do a month ago and now I can do:

I can:

Go an entire day without crying.
Make jewelry again.
Enjoy a pain free day.
Laugh.
Go several hours without thinking of withdrawal.
Leave the house on my own.
Go to walmart.
Grocery shop.

I look forward to:

A return of my creativity.
Dancing.
Getting up feeling happy.
Relief from anxiety.
The return of self-confidence.

I know:

That all of this happened for a reason.
That I am stronger for going through it.
That I appreciate being normal much more than I ever dreamed possible.
That I have learned a lot and met a lot of wonderful people I would never have known had I not had
the experience of benzo addiction.
That I will recover fully and totally in time.
How to be much more gentle with myself.
That I am not crazy!

Wishing everyone a day filled with happiness and the appreciation of simple things!

Love, Love, Love

xposted LJ

What a Wonderful Day

2008-12-04T09:40:00.001-06:00

Wow and double wow what a wonderful day I had yesterday!! How great it is to enjoy the simple things in life! Two of my daughters got together and arranged for a makeover for their older sister. They said she was stuck in the 80's lol. So, after having about 10 inches cut off her hair and some streaks added, she looks wonderful and is so very happy with the present her sister gave her for her 44th birthday. I watched two granddaughters ages 4 and 5 while the girls were off to the salon and then we all went out to dinner together. Just an all around lovely wonderful beautiful day. Oldest daughter is the tallest one.. and yes I am dwarfed by them all. The only one who is actually about my height couldn't be with us.

Today's intentions:

To remain calm and centered.
To relax and take a long hot bath.
To be gentle with myself.
To love and be loved.

I am grateful for:

A lovely home.
Plenty of wood to keep said home warm.
A beautiful note from my granddaughter.
A loving supportive family.

Yesterday's Succeses:

A really normal day.
My oldest daughter's great makeover.
Great workout session.
Feeling wonderful.

To do list:

Knit.
Read.
Enjoy life.
Cook.

Namaste` my wonderful friends, may today find you enjoying life and it's many blessings!

Love, Love, Love

BENZO FREE

2008-12-02T14:42:00.001-06:00

Yes indeed I took my last little dose on Sunday and now I am done with the taper and moving on toward total recovery. Thought I've read that it takes a year or more to fully regain one's health, I don't intend for it to take that long for me. After all each of us is different physiologically and psychologically and I know how to set intentions and work with LOA and I know that my body is a wonderful machine totally capable of healing anything and everything.

Earlier this morning I got a bit upset because I couldn't find any mixing bowls at any of the stores in town. I knew that they no doubt had some at the local walmart, but I loathe that store and the last time I was in there experienced a major meltdown. So, I came home from town feeling low and angry with myself that I didn't feel up to visiting "the wal"..

But, after a bit of working on meself and me attitude, I discovered that I was feeling much better. Feeling so good, in fact, that I got in my Jeep, put in a reggae tape and went to "the wal" and came back with some lovely mixing bowls for my daughter's birthday. Amazing how this simple thing has boosted my self confidence and helped me to see that I am healing and that I will be able to do thing again. So, it's down with self doubt and onward to healing and taking back my life.

Today I am grateful that I took a step forward.

I appreciate that my husband understood my need to reestablish my autonomy and let me go alone.

I am very happy to have let go of my dependence on drugs and can see that the future is opening up before me with bright colors.

And I'm glad that when I got lost in the damn store I found some yarn to knit some more dishcloths lolo..

Love to all,

May blessings find you today and every day!

xposted LJ rosegardenfae

Blog Analyzer Results

2008-11-30T10:21:00.001-06:00

Fun little thing to do and many thanks to baba studio for giving me the link to Typealyzer:

Have your blog analyzed!

The analysis indicates that the author of http://mysticmooma.blogspot.com is of the type:

ISTP - The Mechanics

The independent and problem-solving type. They are especially attuned to the demands of the moment are masters of responding to challenges that arise spontaneously. They generally prefer to think things out for themselves and often avoid inter-personal conflicts.

The Mechanics enjoy working together with other independent and highly skilled people and often like seek fun and action both in their work and personal life. They enjoy adventure and risk such as in driving race cars or working as policemen and firefighters.

Happy Birthday to ME

2008-11-26T07:05:00.000-06:00

Sunday was my 62nd birthday and it was delightful day. Three of my four daughters came out to the house and I was surrounded by love, received wonderful gifts, had lunch delivered along with a homemade cake and enjoyed watching my granddaughters play. Seriously it was the best birthday I've had in a long time!!

My husband gave me a laptop and I was really surprised about that! Also received a wonderful fuzzy purple blanket to wrap up on chilly evenings, two Tarot decks for my collection, some cool glow in the dark rocks for outside plants, nice smelling shower gel, a great calendar for next year, rainbow colored gloves.. and even more. I tell you I am totally blessed!!

The most moving present of all was given to me by my youngest daughter in celebration of my letting go of my dependence on valium. She made me two CD's one has songs that speak of the things I left behind. It begins with the Rolling Stones singing "Mother's LIttle Helper".. how appropriate lol.. And the other features songs that celebrate the way life is opening up for me. She put a lot of work into these and I played them and just bawled like a baby.

Life is busy right now with the upcoming holiday and shopping to do, but I wanted to say here in writing just how much I appreciated this birthday and how significant it has been in a long string of birthdays. For sure, I'm NOT getting older, I'm getting BETTER!

I am grateful for the love and support of my family!

I appreciate the many many blessings in this life of mine.

Namaste`

May you all be blessed today and every day of you life:)

xposted LJ

It's A Wonderful Sale & HoLiDaY Prize Drawing from my BBEST Friends

2008-11-13T15:32:00.005-06:00

I belong to a great Etsy Team, Boomers and Beyond or BBEST and right now they are having a really great holiday sale combined with the opportunity to win a great free prize from those shown in the collage you see here.

If you have not yet registered as an Etsy visitor, go to http://www.etsy.com, and click on Register. Now you're ready to begin!"

TWO ways to enter. NO PURCHASE REQUIRED.
RULES:

Play this way ... Holiday Hide & Seek:
Simply hunt through the shops below and look for the BBEST avatar

It is randomly placed in one listing item photo slot in some of our shops.

Find the avatar. Copy the listing ID of the items where you find the avatar. When you've found 10, convo/contact the BBEST shop with your list. Do not reveal any hidden avatar locations to any eligible players. Your name will be entered into our random prize drawing! Limit one entry per Etsian.

EXEMPT from this version are those team members who have a hidden avatar in their shops.

EXEMPT from both versions are joonbeam, chauncey and sixsisters who are the team leaders and organizers of this sale and game.

Play this way:
Support Handmade. Save Money. For every $1 you spend in our participating shops, listed below, your name will be entered into the random prize drawing. All three prize packages will be given away.

a.) You must enter BBEST in the notes to seller upon checkout.
b.) only complete dollar amounts (ie. $7.65 = 7 entries) from each shop count. No amounts less than $1 will be combined between or among multiple shop purchases.
c.) the final sale price dollar amounts coincide with your entries . In other words, regardless of when the discounted price is finalized, the discounted total dollars determine the number of entries. (For example, some sale transactions are handled via convo / reserved listing with the sale price, others purchase and get a revised invoice.) If a shop has a mix of sale (reduced price) items and non sale items, all purchases do count toward your dollar amounts.
d.) excludes shipping/handling costs. Item costs only.
e.) Only purchase dollars from transactions with the shops in this list and made between 12:01AM Etsy Time, November 12, 2008 and 11:59 PM etsy time, November 17, 2008 qualify.
Winners will be announced on our team blog: http://boomersandbeyond.blogspot.com on Thursday, November 20, 2008 at NOON Etsy Time.

You must come by and look for the winner's etsy ID names listed there. Winners have 3 (three) days to convo the team BBEST shop with their mailing address or forfeit their prize and subsequent names will be drawn.

You can play either or both ways. Odds of winning depend on number of entries received.
Each shop owner has their own sale style and terms, which you will find in their shop announcement.

We are all convo friendly. Do not hesitate to contact us with your questions or requests! Thank you for shopping with us and HaPpY HoLiDaYs!

Participating shops:

ART

Yankeegirl’s Watercolors, http://yankeegirl.etsy.com
On A Whimsey, http://onawhimsey.etsy.com
Purelypainting, http://purelypainting.etsy.com
Sixsisters, http://sixsisters.etsy.com
Van Fleet Street Design, http://VanFleetStreetDesign.etsy.com
Fairy Frond, http://fairyfrond.etsy.com
Althea Peregrine, http://AltheaP.etsy.com
Jean Levert Hood, http://JeanHood.etsy.com
Lemachi Gallery http://lemachigallery.etsy.com
Heron Kate, http://heronkate.etsy.com
Artmixter, http://artmixter.etsy.com

CRAFT SUPPLIES & CREATIONS

Circle In The Sand, http://circleinthesand.etsy.com
GinaBEE Supply http://ginabeesupply.etsy.com
The Button Hole, http://ButtonHole.etsy.com
Lemachi Designs, http://LemachiDesigns.etsy.com

FABRIC & YARN ARTS

The Knotty Sheep, http://theknottysheep.etsy.com
Sassa Lynne at Etsy, http://sassalynne.etsy.com
Precious Quilts http://preciousquilts.etsy.com
Asianexpressions, http://Asianexpressions.etsy.com
Whimseys, http://whimseys.etsy.com

GLASS

Firefly Glass Design, http://fireflyglassdesign.etsy.com
Chris1 http://Chris1.etsy.com
Nonnie’s Treasures, http://Nonnie60.etsy.com
Chauncey Design, http://Chauncey.etsy.com

HOME DECOR ART

Jill’s Treasure Chest, http://JillsTreasureChest.etsy.com
joonbeam, http://joonbeam.etsy.com
Glitz n Glass, http://GlitznGlass.etsy.com
Lord’s Living World, http://lordslivingworld.etsy.com
The Wild Hare, http://thewildhare.etsy.com
Talking Dog Productions, http://TalkingDog.etsy.com
The Good Old Days, http://GoodOldDays.etsy.com

JEWELRY

Sending Love Gallery, http://sendinglovegallery.etsy.com
Kathy's Krafty Kreations, http://kathyskraftykreation.etsy.com
Magdalene Jewels, http://MagdaleneJewels.etsy.com
Night Sky Jewelry, http://nightskyjewelry.etsy.com
Hemlock Hollow Creations, http://hemlockhollow.etsy.com
The Filigree Garden, http://thefiligreegarden.etsy.com
Rosegardenfae, http://rosegardenfae.etsy.com
Kittyd, http://kittyd.etsy.com
Ghi-Goo-ie Designs by Joni Stinson, http://jstinson.etsy.com
maryeb jewelry designs, http://maryeb.etsy.com
Anna’s Jewelry, http://Annasjewelry.etsy.com
Wrist Wrap Works, http://WristWrapWorks.etsy.com

PHOTOGRAPHY

Beth Peardon Prods, http://BethPeardonProds.etsy.com

POLYMER CLAY ART

ZudaGay, http://ZudaGay.etsy.com

Time for a Short Trip

2008-11-10T12:12:00.000-06:00

After an incredibly busy weekend which included a baby shower for Josiah who will likely becoming home very soon, and a birthday party for
Tai Minh, who is now one, and having five year old Anah with me while her Mom was on a mini vacation to New Orleans, I am getting an all paid for wee little
trip to Illinois where daughter #2 has a meeting. We're leaving in about an hour and will drive there and then I get to loll about in the hot tub and lovely hotel room, and also meet up with a jewelry making friend I met online, while daugther attends dreary meetings. Will get to eat lovely food in the evenings all paid for, and maybe even get in some shopping. Will be fab to have a change of scenery even if I am staying in the Midwest and it's cold and rather dank here, at least I'm out of my house! Leaving today and be back home Wednesday night.. LOL I aid Short!!

This is the first trip type adventure I've attempted while doing withdrawal, but see no reason not to give it a whirl. I'm a week away from the last cut I made and other than a meltdown at WalMart ( and come on who hasn't melted down in that hell hole?), I am feeling stable, and quite excited that I have only one more cut to go on this coming Sunday which will bring me down to 1.25 mg which I will dose with for two weeks, and then I'm done. Reading other people's stories I find that some folks do have symptoms of CNS damage long after they quit taking the medication. But, of course, I am not those "other people".. I am ME and I intend that any lingering symptoms will be mild and short lived!

I am already seeing great leaps in the memory department. Benzodiazapenes are notorious for screwing up the old memory bank, and I had gotten to the point that it was difficult to retain any type of information. Therefore I am elated that I remembered my newly assigned ATM pin without a hitch, and my daughter's address. This may seem small, but to me it is a big step forward in my recovery.

So how about a little graitude to get me started on my journey:

I appreciate this great opportunity for a bit of travel.

I celebrate my continued progress on the benoz withdrawl.

I am so happy that my great grandson is doing so well and will be home soon.

I appreciate the lovely weekend just past that I spent with Anah and her cousin Lainey. How delightful are these two little girls with their huge imaginations, their childish laughter, and their uncompromising unconditional love for their Mooma.

I am grateful for the chance to play snuggle bug with Anah and wake up with her beside me, all dewy eyed with sleep, but with a ready smile.

I live a wonderfully blessed life and I sure do appreciate that as well.

Namaste`

Baby Josiah is Making Progress

2008-11-06T16:56:00.005-06:00

My second great grandson Josiah Carter Troy was born September 14, 2008 at slightly less than 27 weeks gestation and weighed 2 lbs. 11 oz. Though he's had a few setbacks, he is now doing very well and weighs in at 4 lbs. 7 oz., is eating on his own and hopefully will come home to be with his parents and big brother within the next few weeks. He is truly a miracle!

Halloween in Missouri

2008-11-01T10:10:00.008-05:00

Halloween has long been a favorite holiday for me, and last night proved to be an exceptionally good celebration. The little spooks enjoyed bobbing for apples, Halloween crafts, eating spooky finger cookies and, of course, the most fun of all - trick or treating. The weather was more than cooperative with temps near 70, most unusual and most welcome for this time of years. And now I'll let the pictures speak for themselves and show you my family in all their regalia.

Granddaughter Anah age 5 was one of the pirate crew.

I joined the pirates and loved putting my perennial favorite "Billy Bob" teeth and posing with my daughter's Dracula statue.

My son in law was so creepy even his own daughter wasn't sure she wanted to hang out with him and youngest daughter did try to outrun him LOL.. Oldest daughter won the prize for prettiest sexiest witch around! A good time was had by ALL...

Benzo Illness Vs. Addiction or Dependence

2008-10-29T09:40:00.002-05:00

BENZO ILLNESS, NOT BENZO ADDICTION OR BENZO DEPENDENCE.

One of the great stumbling blocks in educating doctors, health workers, patients and the wider community about the nature of benzo illness has been the inappropriate and confusing use of the words ‘addiction’ and ‘dependence’ to describe the condition. The first word is a complete red herring, the second subtly but powerfully misleading.

A small minority of benzo casualties are struggling with problems of addiction (and they also deserve assistance and compassion) however the overwhelming majority are not drug 'addicts' but simply obedient patients following doctors’ orders. Mis-information has been the problem for them, not uncontrolled desire for a particular substance. When serious physical illness is caused by a prescribed medicine, taken in small doses, as directed, the issue can hardly be one of ‘drug abuse’.

The penny will not drop while these terms are being used - they imply that the problem lies with the patient not the pill.

ADDICTION

Most sufferers of benzo illness are not, and never were, addicted to benzodiazepines. Addiction usually implies a fundamental weakening of the will, and indicates a tendency to use a substance even when the user knows it is damaging them. Most benzo patients do not fit this picture - they and their doctor believe they are doing the right thing, that their pills are good medicine.

Benzo patients may well become psychologically or physiologically reliant on the medication but that is not ‘addiction’ and the subtle distinction is an important one to make if we are to understand the illness and help the patient.

Because the first problem health authorities noticed with the benzoes in the early years was the withdrawal syndrome, and because withdrawal syndromes are usually associated with drugs of addiction and drug abuse, the simplistic conclusion seems to have been drawn that benzo patients who suffer withdrawals must be either addicts or drug abusers. That is to say, the problem was blamed on the patient rather than on the harmful effects of the medication. This misapprehension has bedevilled the field of benzo recovery for the past fifty years. Instead of asking the appropriate question; ‘what can we do about this harmful medication?’ the tendency has been to ask ‘what can we do with these problematic people?’

In the absence of appropriate knowledge and services, patients suffering a nasty withdrawal, or those who could not manage to withdraw at home, have been recommended to a drug and alcohol facility where the dominant culture was often a subtly punitive one urging the patient to ‘take responsibility for her addiction’, for her supposed history of ‘abuse’ and ‘denial’. Benzo patients who had been prescribed a regular low dose of valium and who took the medicine in good faith, exactly as prescribed, would be challenged to admit they were substance abusers. If they had sometimes upped their dose over the years to help cope with the painful symptoms of physiological dependence (see below) that would be seen as proof of their compulsive, addictive personalities.

Many many benzo patients have endured great suffering, and continue to endure great suffering, due to this misguided and cruel treatment approach; an approach which may be ideal for certain addiction problems but which is like salt in the wound for most benzo sufferers.

Australian Psychiatrist Dr Jean Lennane, a pioneer in the field of benzo recovery, made the distinction between classic drug addiction and benzo-related problems during an interview I conducted with her in the early 1990’s.

I had already observed in my work with the Benzodiazepine Research Group in Melbourne that long term benzo patients seldom craved the pills, or fantasised about them, the way an alcoholic might crave or dream about a drink. Sure, they relied on them to alleviate the mental and physical pain they were living with, but that is different from the desire for a substance because of a compelling, addictive thirst for the substance itself.

Dr. Lennane revealed that most benzo patients she treated didn’t seem to have the underlying issues consistent with classic drug and alcohol addiction. As Dr. Lennane said; ‘Once off their pills, they simply get on with their lives’.

DEPENDENCE

In an attempt to acknowledge the distinction between drug addiction and the illness and withdrawal syndrome produced by benzoes, health services finally came up with the unfortunate term ‘benzodiazepine dependence’. An inappropriate term which muddies the waters.

‘Benzodiazepine dependence’ intends to indicate that what most benzo casualties are experiencing is physiological dependence (understandably a psychological reliance can also develop but the core of the problem is physiological).

Here is my understanding of the mechanisms involved:

The complex chemical composition of the body rearranges itself to accommodate the alien benzo as best it can: a new bio-chemical status-quo is established in the body as it adapts to, and attempts to manage, the chemical effects of the benzoes.

Maintaining this new, artificial status-quo creates unusual biological stresses within the system hence the often severe health problems and peculiar symptoms developed by so many long term benzo patients (and misunderstood by so many of them, and their doctors).

Because the body is adapting its chemistry to accommodate the regular dose of benzoes, any attempt to reduce or remove the drug, disturbs this new delicate balance - its like a card being removed from a house of cards; physiological chaos ensues. Hence the withdrawal syndrome and the great danger involved in stopping benzoes abruptly (‘cold-turkey’).

The phenomenon of ‘tolerance’ also upsets the status quo. ‘Tolerance’ refers to the situation wherein the desired effects of the drug become weaker over time because the body has become ‘tolerant’ to the substance. When a state of tolerance is reached, this also sends shock waves through the body’s new status quo. These shock-waves are alleviated by increasing the daily dose of the drug.

So, generally speaking, to avoid chaos, the regular dose of the benzo must be maintained or increased. This is a state of ‘dependence’. Maintaining the body’s new status quo ‘depends’ on the benzo.

Why is the term ‘benzodiazepine dependence’ problematic?

In common use, particularly in popular psychology, the word ‘dependence’ often implies a deficiency, a need, or a problem of some kind in the dependent person. The subtle implication therefore in the term ‘benzo dependence’ is, once again, that the source of the benzo problem lies with the patient not the pill. I know from my many conversations with medicos over the years, and from the experiences related to me by ex-benzo users, that many doctors have been misled by that term. If you believe benzoes are fine but that certain people might become ‘dependent’ on them you’ve missed the point. It’s the medicine which causes the damage, not the attitude of the patient.

In 2007 some doctors continue to think that it is only problematic people, those who have a ‘dependent personality’ or ‘addictive nature’, who ‘get into trouble’ with benzoes. Some seem to believe they can assess a patient’s susceptibility to benzo illness simply by having a chat with them to ascertain whether they are at all ‘compulsive’. If their benzo patients are not craving more pills or dramatically upping the dose these doctors think everything must be OK. The term ‘benzo dependence’ reinforces such misapprehensions. They just don’t get it that benzo illness essentially has nothing to do with personality traits, addiction or compulsive behaviour: a well-balanced, hard working, middle-aged woman who takes no more than four half tablets a week may wind up suffering benzo illness with continued use. It is a primarily physiological problem, a physical condition, caused by the medicine and is not determined by a perceived or actual ‘weakness of will’. They don’t get it that a regular low dose, taken exactly as prescribed, can be insidiously fostering or worsening a patient’s anxiety or insomnia, as well as producing significant ill-health, even while the patient experiences the desired feeling of sedation shortly after taking each tablet. When confronted with symptoms of benzo illness in these compliant, low-dose, ‘non-compulsive’ patients, mis-led doctors continue to mistake the benzo symptoms for further signs of anxiety, hypochondria etc.

I suggest we stop using the misleading terms benzo addiction and benzo dependence to describe this pharmaceutically-produced illness. If we call it ‘benzo illness’ the penny is more likely to drop.

© Will Day 2007. www.willbenzo.com - counsellor, social researcher and educator in the field of benzodiazepine recovery

Help Feed Animals in Shelters - Free Kibble

2008-10-28T05:57:00.001-05:00

I have long been fond of the site Free Rice.

A twelve-year-old girl, Mimi Ausland, saw her father visiting the site and got a great idea -- let's help animals, too.

Mimi created Free Kibble. Each person who goes to the site is asked a trivia question, and whether you answer correctly or not, twelve pieces of kibble are donated to shelters and groups in Florida, Portland, Chicago and New York state, as well as one in Forsythe GA.

Over 35,000 people visit the site per day, feeding 1,200 dogs and cats daily.

A sixth-grader!

Read the whole story here.

snagged from SageBoucher, MySpace

Why I'm Doing NaNoWriMo in November

2008-10-25T13:28:00.003-05:00

Received this in my mailbox today and it expresses so well the reasons I joined up for NaNoWriMo again, I opted to cut and paste instead of write my own post :) And it gives me an opportunity to put in a positive plug for "Daily OM" from whom I received these words, and whose daily messages have been a part of my online life for a very long time:

Personal Tales
Writing Your Story

Everyone, at one time or another, has wanted to express his or her story. Writing a memoir to read privately, share with family or friends, or publish is an emotionally satisfying way to gain perspective on your experiences while sharing your unique voice. We’ve all experienced feelings and events in our lives that we are longing to write down. Giving in to that urge can give you an outlet for purging any frustration, anxiety, or long-dormant feelings. No one else has to read it. You may even want to write your story without reading it right away. Satisfying the need to tell your story is not predicated upon your writing ability. It does, however take effort to write down the truth in detail. Your memories, captured on paper as descriptive scenes, sights, sounds, and scents, may at first seem disconnected or incomplete. But rest assured that you possess the ability to shape your recollections into stories.

Everyone wants to be heard. Reading your story to others can meet that need. Writing your story can also help you understand your life experiences. And when you finish writing, you may be surprised at what you have accomplished. Your story can encompass as much or as little of your life as you prefer. You may surprise yourself with new insights, or you may find yourself exploring your roots, your identity, and your future through your words. Allow your writing to guide you and write as truthfully as possible. Don’t worry about what others will think of your personal journey, your style of writing, or your words.

Research has shown that writing a personal narrative filled with feelings and perceptions can create long-term health benefits. As you write, remember to have compassion for yourself, particularly when writing about traumatic events. If you are a young person, you can add to your life story as you grow older. Your writing may help family members know you better, or they may understand themselves more through reading about your experiences. More importantly, you are expressing yourself in a permanent way, giving a gift to yourself, and letting your voice be heard.

Look What I Found!!!! or Remembering I'm a Fiber Artist

2008-10-22T19:33:00.009-05:00

I am happy to report that I am doing much better today. Interestingly enough the road to recovery from benzodiazapene addiction is not a linear one. After being quite ill yesterday a.m., by afternoon I was feeling better. I does make it a bit difficult to plan ahead LOL

I believe that most certainly the love and support I received from so many of my BBEST Etsy Street Team members, and the encouragement from my dear Canadian friend, nefaeria that helped me get" my groove back" :) Many thanks to each and every one of you for lifting me up yesterday.

So, as I was sitting at the computer tonight relishing some delightful solitude, I was reading a blog about needle felting written by a great BBESTer, Judy Nolan - "the scoop on felting", and thinking that only this morning I had ordered a book on making felted critters, loving the synchronicity, clicking on all the links and looking at all the cool things that folks have made, and then....

I remembered that I had a box of textile work of my own that I have been keeping for literally years and years... I fondled it, I have ideas for it, it doesn't matter if it doesn't get any farther than that. What matters is that I had a creative thought, and that I remembered that I was a fiber artist long before I picked up wire and a pair of pliers.. and that here before lies great potential for some really great fiber art.

Thanks to all the great fiber artists at Etsy for their inspiration.. and now I just got to share more what I found in the top of the closet tonight....

Lots of tie dye... some batik: I am ready for a fabric adventure!!!

The Beat Goes On

2008-10-21T08:47:00.001-05:00

Now down to 3.75 mg of valium. Yesterday got hit with some major withdrawal symptoms and spent a lot of time sleeping or wrapped up in a blanket shivering. About 48 hrs after a cut, the symptoms appear in their various forms, different every time.

While going through this it is some times difficult to believe that I have made the right decision, but it is too late to stop now as I am so close to the end.

Unbelievable what this drug can do to you. I have stopped making jewelry, sort of left my Etsy shops to rot as it were, and can't seem to plan anything or want to do anything at all. Yep I'm depressed!!

I simply must continue to have faith that I am in a process of healing and that it is unimportant that I accomplish anything during this challenging period of my life. For an overachiever like me, that's hard pill to swallow (no pun intended LOL)... but I intend to get through this and I intend to reinvent myself on the other side as stronger, more competent, and more creative than I have ever been before.

I continue to read stories of other folks who have gone down this path and can see that I am blessed in so many ways..

I don't have a job and can lie down when I need to..
My symptoms aren't any where near as desperate as many others are experiencing.
I have a super strong immune system and know that my body is healing every day.
My family loves and supports me.
And I appreciate all my blessings, yes indeed I surely do!!

xposted to LJ

The Last Rose of Summer

2008-10-14T20:49:00.003-05:00

I wandered out to the garden today, and found a few roses still blooming. A couple of the miniatures are valiantly putting on a last show before the expected frost of next week.

As a small child I had a toy clarinet and I learned to play, "The Last Rose of Summer"... I still remember that old refrain:

Sir John Stevenson, 1761-1833 'Tis the last rose of summer,
Left blooming all alone,
All her lovely companions
Are faded and gone.
No flower of her kindred,
No rose bud is nigh,
To reflect back her blushes,
Or give sigh for sigh.

I'll not leave thee, thou lone one,
To pine on the stem;
Since the lovely are sleeping,
Go sleep thou with them;
'Thus kindly I scatter
Thy leaves o'er the bed
Where thy mates of the garden
Lie scentless and dead.

So soon may I follow
When friendships decay,
And from love's shining circle
The gems drop away!
When true hearts lie withered
And fond ones are flown
Oh! who would inhabit
This bleak world alone?

"Mother's Little Helper" 7 Weeks to Go!!!

2008-10-10T16:55:00.000-05:00

I am now 7 weeks away from being totally drug free. In 2006 I did a slow withdrawal from 14 years of antidepressants and at the same switched from Xanax to Valium.

I am now at 1/3 of my original dose of Valium, and moving forward cutting 1.25 mg every two weeks. It has been a real challenge, healing is not a linear process in withdrawal and I have good days and bad days, and some times like last night, horrible nights with nightmares and no real sleep.

I post this here today so that others will know why I'm not around so much, and also as a precautionary tale... I listened to a psychiatrist 15 years ago who continued to push medications at me till I felt numbed and totally out of touch with life and reality. Thus I began to take back my life and get rid of the prescription drugs. You would think that an old hippie like me who has experienced illegal drugs would know better, and I even expressed that view to my doctor, who pooh poohed the idea of potential addiction.

Far too many physicians hand out drugs as a fix it all for situations and events that happen in people's life that would be better dealt with by learning how to cope. The year prior to seeking the help of a psychiatrist my two year old granddaughter was killed, my husband was diagnosed with cancer and underwent aggressive chemo and surgery and my mother passed away, all within the space of months. I didn't need drugs, but that's what I got!

So, if you don't see me, i'ts because I'm not feeling up to posting, but I'll be back, stronger and more healthy than I've been in years and DRUG-FREE!!

And from Mick Jagger and Keith Richards:

Mother's Little Helper

What a drag it is getting old
"Kids are different today"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day

"Things are different today"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Cooking fresh food for a husband's just a drag
So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak
And goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And two help her on her way, get her through her busy day

Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old

"Men just aren't the same today"
I hear ev'ry mother say
They just don't appreciate that you get tired
They're so hard to satisfy, You can tranquilize your mind
So go running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And four help you through the night, help to minimize your plight

Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old

"Life's just much too hard today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
The pursuit of happiness just seems a bore
And if you take more of those, you will get an overdose
No more running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
They just helped you on your way, through your busy dying day

xposted to LJ

Woot -They're Finished

2008-10-09T21:03:00.004-05:00

They're not perfect, far from it, but they're mine and they're finished!! Using a Eni Oken tutorial for Netted Caps, Agate Teardrop stones purchased from Szarka, and lots of sterling silver wire and 2mm sterling silver beads, I made myself a new pair of earrings. I'll get no kudos for the photos, but I'm so excited that I finally completed this project that I couldn't wait to post them. Ta Da...

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2008-10-08T08:02:00.000-05:00

Oh My, I've Been Tagged!! I'm IT!

2008-10-06T12:56:00.006-05:00

I was tagged by two different people Kimberly of TheWildHare

and Janine of AltheaPeregrine

I'm going to cheat and only do six things
totally as I am not sure I could actually think of twelve things that people might find interesting about me.

I have met Janine the owner/operator of AltheaPeregrine , so she probably knows way too much already *grin*

The rules when you are tagged are quite specific. You must share six facts about yourself that most people don’t know, and then tag six other people who need to do the same thing.

And now on to those six things:

1. I spent many years following the Grateful Dead on tour, peddling tie dyes, had a great deal of fun, and actually made more than I spent. I'm also a member of the "Rainbow Family of Living Light" and attended National Gatherings for many years. My wonderful husband kept the kiddies while I took to the road, and we're still married!! I'm not in the picture, but it is one of my tie dyes in the center.

2. I was once quite in demand as an artificial inseminater of dairy goats. I raised and showed French Alpines at the time, and while looking to improve my bloodlines became intrigued by the idea of AI (much used in cattle breeding). It didn't pay very well, but it was interesting to say the least:)

*time out to think - this is harder than I thought it would be!

3. I have owned and operated two costume shops. The first one was called "Odd Characters" and the second, "Mythfits". My partner and I made most of the costumes ourselves. We also did singing telegrams and I often dressed as a Playboy Bunny. Let me tell you those telegrams were expensive!!

4. I still heat my house with a wood stove, though we do have a furnace. I love the smell of wood smoke, and coming in from the cold to stand close and warm myself up. I will admit that we no longer go to the woods and cut what we burn. Instead we burn pallet ends from the nearby Amish sawmill.

5. I have traced both sides of my family back back back, the farthest being 1046 I think... I love genealogy and am currently working on a family history book to give my to my children. I was amazed to find how totally British ALL of my family lines turned out to be.

6. I am a professional Tarot card reader and, yes, have read cards for money though more often as a volunteer at an online site. I have been reading Tarot for nearly 30 years now and find it a valuable tool for self examination and growth. It is NOT fortune telling!!

And now that I have laid bare some strange esoteric facts about myself I'm off to tag six other people!!

Wordless Wednesday

2008-10-01T11:10:00.002-05:00