Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Beat Goes On

Now down to 3.75 mg of valium. Yesterday got hit with some major withdrawal symptoms and spent a lot of time sleeping or wrapped up in a blanket shivering. About 48 hrs after a cut, the symptoms appear in their various forms, different every time.

While going through this it is some times difficult to believe that I have made the right decision, but it is too late to stop now as I am so close to the end.

Unbelievable what this drug can do to you. I have stopped making jewelry, sort of left my Etsy shops to rot as it were, and can't seem to plan anything or want to do anything at all. Yep I'm depressed!!

I simply must continue to have faith that I am in a process of healing and that it is unimportant that I accomplish anything during this challenging period of my life. For an overachiever like me, that's hard pill to swallow (no pun intended LOL)... but I intend to get through this and I intend to reinvent myself on the other side as stronger, more competent, and more creative than I have ever been before.

I continue to read stories of other folks who have gone down this path and can see that I am blessed in so many ways..

I don't have a job and can lie down when I need to..
My symptoms aren't any where near as desperate as many others are experiencing.
I have a super strong immune system and know that my body is healing every day.
My family loves and supports me.
And I appreciate all my blessings, yes indeed I surely do!!

xposted to LJ


artmixter said...

Go girl! You can do it.

Nuvofelt said...

It's a dreadful drug. Congratulations on coming so far. You will be out of the woods before long.

The Filigree Garden said...

Keep on the path though there will be days of feeling like you are bouncing on rock bottom. You will emerge a beautiful butterfly on the other side.

Unknown said...

Wishing you the BBEST on your journey. Keep the faith!

Unknown said...

Oh - and that is me -blazingneedles above:)

joon said...

{{{HUGS}}} coming your way from the Wilkinson household, Ella! You can convo me ANYtime. I always have time for you. ox joonie

Zuda Gay Pease said...

Sending hugs across the river Elliefae!!! You are almost there!!! I have complete faith you will make it through!

Chauncey said...

I'm sending giant hugs and tons of healing vibes. Don't forget Rose, you have a lot of friends here that are pulling for your success and wishing you the best.

nefaeria said...

Congratulations on making it this far Rose!

I am one of those believers that although the quiet darkness can be a terrible place, it is one that is necessary in the path of healing.

It seems that you understand this, and even though you are in a dark place, you still see how you are blessed.

You're a strong one, and you will be fine. And while you are going through this process, know that you have the ability to inspire others :)

SlĂ inte!